Tender Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a head stumbled into a bar and asked for a beer.when he took the first sip of the beer he grew a body.
The bartender said thats amazing.H e said I watch this and he took another sip. Wow he grew arms and hands this time.
This time he took another sip and grew legs and feet.The bar tender said now you can't grow any thing else so I guess you'll be leaving. No wait I can grow one more thing. Oh, whats that. A dick to screw you with. So he took one more sip.
To prove he grew a dick he took the bar tender (who if by now you haven't guessed is a beautiful women with huge tits and thin waist)upstairs to the janiters closit he screwed her for hours.
When they had been in there for 5 hours screwing each other the women said, I have to go.He said wait one minute whats your name.It's Victor.What thats a guys name.I know you have been screwing a guy, you just were so excited about screwing me I didn't won't to tell you.Bye.
One day later the women told him you might more...

A bear walks into a bar an says to the bar tender, "I would like a bourbon and... a coke." The bar tender says "What's up with the big pause?" The bear said "I've had them all my life"

a man walks into a bar and asks for a beer.when it comes, he dumps the beer on the floor and eats only the glass.he repeats this 10 more times.then he looks at the bar tender and says "You think i am crazy dont you."the bar tender then looks at the man and says"yes.the cap is the best part!"

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her.
She jumped up and slapped him silly.
He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her. ”
“Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable asshole! ” she screamed.
That’s funny, ” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her too! ”
I’m Cured!
A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He drinks the beer, then stands on the bar, drops his pants and pisses all over the place.
The bar tender freaks out. “You dirty disgusting pig! How dare you come into my bar and urinate! I’ll beat the shit out of you…”
The man begins crying. “I’m sorry! Its ruining my life. I can’t sleep. I do it every time I have a drink! It’s worrying me to death, please don’t hit me…”
The bar more...

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked 'em, I've roasted 'em, I've stewed 'em, I've barbequed 'em, I've even tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender." The second cannibal asks, "What kind of missionary do you use?" The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and their sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads." "Ah ha!" he replies. "No wonder.. those are friars!"

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. Just can't seem to get them tender."
The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?"
The reply, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."
"Ah, Ha!" the second cannibal replies, "No wonder - those are fryers!"

Two cannibals meet one day...
The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. Just can't seem to get them tender."
The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?"
The reply, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around their waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."
"Ah, Ha!" the second cannibal replies, "No wonder-those are fryers!"