Tender Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two cannibals meet one day... The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. Just can't seem to get them tender." The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?" The reply, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around their waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads." "Ah, Ha!" the second cannibal replies, "No wonder--those are fryers!"

I saw you across a crowded room. Among all the others that
were there, The lights seemed to shine down on you alone. I
knew then I had to have you for my own.
Willingly, you came with me to my home. From the car, I
carried you & threw the door.
Looking at you, I admire your body, your well shaped legs,
and breasts. Slowly I remove what wraps, around your body so
tightly, fitting you like a glove. Exposing your tender white
skin.
From your neck I remove your charms, and carry you off in my
arms, to the warm water that awaits.
The water cascades down your neck, flowing over your soft
breasts then, making your legs glisten with wetness. Droplets
of water cover your taut skin.
My hands rub your body, ummmm running them threw the beads
of water. Making them trickle down off your body.
I place my fingers inside you. You are warm and moist, so
ready. I carry your still dripping body, to a laying place,
so that I can put more...

There were Two guys at a bar. They were making small talk and realized a couple of interesting things.. this is how their conversation went. Guy 1: Yah..I'm originally from Dublin, IrelandGuy 2: REally?! Me too! Guy 1: I went to O'Malley Highschool.Guy 2: I did too! What year did you graduate? Guy 1: 1988! guy 2: Same here! A guy sitting next to them was amazed how they grew up together and didnt know it. He asked the bar tender, who was friends with both of them if the two irish guys knew eachother.The bar tender replied, " Yeah. It looks like the Donohue Twins are drunk again."

One of my friends went to a party. He asked from the Bar tender for a "Manhattan"(It is a Drink, cooktail) He gave the drink. By mistake he droped a peace of Parsley (green Vegitable) into the Drink. My Friend saw the piece of Parslely and asked what is this? The bar tender told my friend, You asked for a "Manhattan", and that is The Centeral Park. (Because Manhattan has a big park call Central Park).

There was this bartender working one shift then this guy comes in Naked and the tender says where did you come from? the guy says Blueberry Hill! Next another naked guy comes in and again the tender says where did you come from? the guy says Blueberry Hill! Next another naked guy comes in then, where did you come from? the guy says Blueberry Hill! Then a naked women comes in and the guy says wait let me guess you just got off blueberry hill? then she says how could i get off blueberry hill if i am blueberry hill???
Then the tender says Can I go to BLueberry Hill? THen she replys Let me first open the entrance gate while you get the car ready??

How can a bar tender know which customers like Moose Head?
They're the ones with ankle marks around their hips

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked' em, I've roasted' em, I've stewed' em, I've barbequed' em, I've even tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender."
The second cannibal asks, "What kind of missionary do you use?"
The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and their sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."
"Ah ha!" he replies. "No wonder.. those are friars!"