Tender Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a man and a donkey walked into a bar and the man asked the bar tender "hi may i please have two beers one for me and one for my donkey friend" and the bar tender gave them the beers. Then a few minutes later the man asked for two more beers one for him and one for his donkey friend. Then the man said "excuse me while i go to the restroom" and the bar tender asked why does he keep calling you his donkey friend. and he said "hee haw hee haw he likes me, hee haw hee haw he likes me.

One day this guy walks into a bar and asks why theres a horse in the corner. The bar tender says if you put a dollar in the bucket and make the horse laugh you get all the money in the bucket. So he goes over and makes the horse laugh. The same guy comes back the next day and asks why the horse is in the cocrner. Well the bar tender says that if you make the cry you get all the money in the bucket. So he makes the horse cry. Then he comes back to the counter and the bar tender asks how he made him laugh the first day and cry the second day? The guy says the first day I said I had a bigger dick than him and the second day I proved it.

Q. What's the definition of "Tender Love?"
A. Two gays with haemorrhoids.

Who sings "Love me tender", and makes Christmas toys? Santas little Elvis.

This rope walks into a bar and says,"Get me a beer!" The bar tender relies,"We don't serve beers to ropes here."
So the rope walks out and sees this guy walking down the sidewalk and says,"Tie me in a knot and fray the end."
So the guy does so. Then the rope walks back in the bar and says,"Get me a beer!" The bar tender replies,"Aren't you the same rope who just came in here?"
The rope says,"Fraid Knot!"

I Am Glad I Picked You

I saw you across a crowded room.
Among all the others that were there,
The lights seemed to shine down on you alone.
I knew then I had to have you for my own.

Willingly, you came with me to my home.
From the car, I carried you & threw the door.

Looking at you, I admire your body,
your well shaped legs,and breasts.
Slowly I remove what wraps,
around your body so tighly,
fitting you like a glove.
Exposing your tender white skin.

From your neck I remove your charms,
and carry you off in my arms,
to the warm water that awaits.

The water cascades down your neck,
flowing over your soft breasts then,
making your legs glisten with wetness.
Droplets of water cover your taut skin.

My hands rub your body, ummmm
running them threw the beads of water.
Making them trickle down off your body.

I place my fingers inside more...

a man walks into a bar and suddenly the bar tender says 'nice shoes, were did you get them from?' the man said 'ben sherman'.
a short time later another man walks into the bar and the bar tender says 'nice trousers, were did you get them from?' and the man says 'ben sherman'.
a short time later ANOTHER man walks in and the bar tender says 'were did you get that shirt from?' the man says 'ben sherman'
suddenly a naked guy storms in and the bar tender says 'who the hell are you?' the guy says 'ben sherman'