Tender Jokes / Recent Jokes

OK, so a man walks into a bar with a large box, the bar tender goes up to him and asks "whats in the box".
The man says "I'll show ya' if you get me a beer."
So of course the bar tender gets the man a beer, the man drinks it, and he pulls out a little foot tall man and he pulls out a little piano. The little man starts playing the piano!
Next the bar tender asks "hey! thats prety cool, where did ya' get that?"
The man says" I'll tell ya' if you get me another beer." So the bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and he says "I got it from a geenie and a lamp"
The bar tender says "If ya' let me barrow that geenie and that lamp I'll give ya' another beer."
The man says "Oh, Okay!"
The bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and the man gives the bar tender the lamp.
The bar tender rubs the lamp and the geenie pops out!
The geenie says "Master, more...

OK, so a man walks into a bar with a large box, the bar tender goes up to him and asks "whats in the box".The man says "I'll show ya' if you get me a beer." So of course the bar tender gets the man a beer, the man drinks it, and he pulls out a little foot tall man and he pulls out a little piano. The little man starts playing the piano! Next the bar tender asks "hey! thats prety cool, where did ya' get that?"The man says" I'll tell ya' if you get me another beer." So the bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and he says "I got it from a geenie and a lamp"The bar tender says "If ya' let me barrow that geenie and that lamp I'll give ya' another beer."The man says "Oh, Okay!"The bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and the man gives the bar tender the lamp.The bar tender rubs the lamp and the geenie pops out! The geenie says "Master, I grant you one wish, what is it?"The more...

There was a guy bar hopping and he stopped in a bar. he asked the bar tender where the bathroom is, this guy was dead drunk and he was wabbling side to side down the hall to the bathroom, 5 minutes after he went in there everyone in the bar heard a blood curdling scream, the bar tender said ahh its only a 1 time thing, he'll be ok, 5 minutes later he heasrd a blood curdling scream 2 times as loud as the first, the bar tender goes into the bathroom and finds this guy squatin down and the guy says bar tender there is something wrong woth your john every time i flush this thing sqeezes the heck out of my balls, the bartender says dude your sitting on the mop bucket.

Be tender to the young, compassionate to the aged, tolerant with the weak. For in your life you will be all of these.

A woman walks into a bar already wasted. She goes up to the bar and says,"
Beer tender, get me a bubble martuni with a little pickle in it."
So, the bar tender gives the women her drink. She downs it, and again she says,"
Beer tender, get me another bubble martuni with two little pickles in it."
Bar tender gives it to her and the woman downs it. Then she says, "
Beer tender give me a little peptobismal I have a little heartburn."
Bar tender says,"
First of all its not Beer tender, its bar tender, its not a bubble, its a double, its not a martuni, its a martini, its not a pickle its an olive and you dont have heartburn your left tits in the ashtray!"

One day two blondes walk into a bar. They go up to the bar tender, order somes drinks and then go to a table and celebrating and chanting, "51 days,51 days,51 days!" A couple seconds later two more blondes walk in, order drinks, and go to the same table as the other blondes and start chanting, "51 days,51 days,51 days!" Then another blonde walks in and goes up to the bar. The bar tender notices a picture frame in her hand. She gets her drink and goes to the same table, sets the picture in the middle of the table and starts chanting "51 days." The bar tender was so curious what they were doing so he went over and saw a puzzle in the picture frame on the table. Finally, he asked the blonde, "What are you guys celebrating and why are you chanting 51?"
The blonde replied, "Well, we all put this puzzle together and on the box it said 2 to 4 years but we put it together in 51 days!"

A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He drinks the beer, then stands on the bar, drops his pants and pisses all over the place. The bar tender freaks out. "You dirty disgusting pig! How dare you come into my bar and urinate! I'll beat the shit out of you..."The man begins crying. "I'm sorry! Its ruining my life. I can't sleep. I do it every time I have a drink! It's worrying me to death, please don't hit me..."The bar tender takes pity. "Look, I have a brother who is a psychiatrist, here's his card, why don't you see him?" The man hugs the bartender, shakes his hand and leaves with a thousand thank yous... Six months later, the man walks into the bar, and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Okay, here you go... Wait! Weren't you that guy who.." "Yes, And I went and saw your brother. He is fantastic, I am completely cured." "Well, that's great. This beer is on the house." So the man drinks the beer, stands on the bar, more...