Tender Jokes / Recent Jokes

This guy walks into a bar and he sees this sign saying 100 dollars to make this horse laugh. So he goes up to bar tender and says i can make that horse laugh and he goes give it a shot. So the guy goes up and wispers something in the horses ear and the horse starts laughing. 2 week later the guy goes back in the bar and now theres a sign 250 dollars to make this horse cry. so he goes up to the bar tender and he said i can make this horse cry. so the guy asked aren't you the one who made the horse laugh. The guy says yeah. So he goes can i take the horse outside so he says ya. so when the horse comes back in the horse is crying so he the guy got his 250 dollars. So the Bar tender said would you mind telling me how you made the horse laugh. he said for one thing i said i had a bigger dick than him. the bar tender said how did you make him cry he said i showed him.

A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He drinks the beer, then stands on the bar, drops his pants and pisses all over the place.
The bar tender freaks out. "You dirty disgusting pig! How dare you come into my bar and urinate! I'll beat the shit out of you..."
The man begins crying. "I'm sorry! Its ruining my life. I can't sleep. I do it every time I have a drink! It's worrying me to death, please don't hit me..."
The bar tender takes pity. "Look, I have a brother who is a psychiatrist, here's his card, why don't you see him?"
The man hugs the bartender, shakes his hand and leaves with a thousand thank yous...
Six months later, the man walks into the bar, and orders a drink.
The bartender says, "Okay, here you go... Wait! Weren't you that guy who.."
"Yes, And I went and saw your brother. He is fantastic, I am completely cured."
"Well, that's great. This beer is on the house."
So the man more...

A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He drinks the beer, then stands on the bar, drops his pants and pisses all over the place.The bar tender freaks out. "You dirty disgusting pig! How dare you come into my bar and urinate! I'll beat the shit out of you..."The man begins crying. "I'm sorry! Its ruining my life. I can't sleep. I do it every time I have a drink! It's worrying me to death, please don't hit me..."The bar tender takes pity. "Look, I have a brother who is a psychiatrist, here's his card, why don't you see him?"The man hugs the bartender, shakes his hand and leaves with a thousand thank yous...Six months later, the man walks into the bar, and orders a drink.The bartender says, "Okay, here you go... Wait! Weren't you that guy who..""Yes, And I went and saw your brother. He is fantastic, I am completely cured.""Well, that's great. This beer is on the house."So the man drinks the beer, stands on the bar, drops more...

slip and fall
a man enters a bar doing a four front flips and lands near the table
bar tender: are you a magician?
man1: no i am an athlete
then another man enters the bar doing five front flips and lands excatly on the chair
bar tender :are you an athlete too
man2: no your doormat was loose

OK, so a man walks into a bar with a large box, the bar tender goes up to him and asks "whats in the box".

The man says "I'll show ya' if you get me a beer."

So of course the bar tender gets the man a beer, the man drinks it, and he pulls out a little foot tall man and he pulls out a little piano. The little man starts playing the piano!

Next the bar tender asks "hey! thats prety cool, where did ya' get that?"

The man says" I'll tell ya' if you get me another beer." So the bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and he says "I got it from a geenie and a lamp"

The bar tender says "If ya' let me barrow that geenie and that lamp I'll give ya' another beer."

The man says "Oh, Okay!"

The bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and the man gives the bar tender the lamp.

The bar tender rubs the lamp and more...

A newfy man walks into a bar and orders himself a drink. when the bar tender brings it over to him, he ask him if he was a betting man. The bar tender replys, why yes, i, ve been known to take a bet from time to time, depending on what it was. why?
Well, says the newfoundlander, i, m willing to bet you $1000.00 that i could piss in that shot glass on the shelf behind your head!...The bar tender turns to see where he was pointing and then looks back at the newfy and says to him, ok pal your on, but you have to do it from where you, re standing.
Not a problem says the newf, so the bar tender places his $1000.00 on the bar next to the newfs and then the newf pulls down his fly and starts to pee.
He, s pissin on the bar, on the wall, on the floor, and even on the bar tender, but not one drop goes into the shot glass!
When he finishes, the bar tender"LAUGHING TO KILL HIMSELF" picks up his newly won money and then realizes that the newf is laughing as well.
So more...

I'm Cured A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He drinks the beer, then stands on the bar, drops his pants and pisses all over the place. The bar tender freaks out. "You dirty disgusting pig! How dare you come into my bar and urinate! I'll beat the shit out of you..." The man begins crying. "I'm sorry! Its ruining my life. I can't sleep. I do it every time I have a drink! It's worrying me to death, please don't hit me..." The bar tender takes pity. "Look, I have a brother who is a psychiatrist, here's his card, why don't you see him?" The man hugs the bartender, shakes his hand and leaves with a thousand thank yous... Six months later, the man walks into the bar, and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Okay, here you go... Wait! Weren't you that guy who.." "Yes, And I went and saw your brother. He is fantastic, I am completely cured." "Well, that's great. This beer is on the house." So the man drinks the beer, stands more...