Terrorism Jokes / Recent Jokes

You know you're Taliban if...

You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

You own a 3000 quid machine gun and 5000 quid rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

You have more wives than teeth.

You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

You've often uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.'

You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

You've ever had a crush on your neighbour's goat.

I sometimes feel so bad about things that I wonder if I am sane. I see so many people acting so stupidly in the world, that what they do makes no sense. Maybe I'm the only sane person and everyone else is crazy! It seems like the world has gotten both stupider and nastier over the years, or at least the U.S. has.
It is the asinine stupidity - and plain arrogance - of people that makes me sick. The District of Columbia is damn near so bankrupt it would be "30c short of a quarter." The Financial Control Board gave a timid order to Mayor-for-life Marion "Snort, Snort" Barry to cut 6,000 city employees.
Washington is so obscenely overstaffed that the number of people that should be cut from its payroll is more like 60,000! This isn't cutting the payroll, this is giving it a manicure! People are practically calling this near-nothing cutback a "meat axe" approach!
All the while the city goes deeper into red ink. I'm thinking, when the city does go more...

They are bringing in the Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act. I'm Irish, married to a Muslim and an animal lover - cut me a break Bush! Anyway, let the FBI follow me around. All they see is me falling off a barstool at 2am.

CHICAGO - The war on terrorism took a strange and sad turn Friday as airline officials at O'Hare International Airport refused to let a 73 year old
grandmother board her plane as she had in her possession two six-inch knitting needles. Apparently authorities were worried that she may knit an Afghan.

The Canadian government is going to help America with the war on terrorism. They have pledged 2 of their biggest battle ships, 6000 ground troops and 6 fighter jets.
Unfortunately, after the exchange rate conversion, we
ended up with 2 canoes, 1 Mountie, and some flying
squirrels.