Test Jokes / Recent Jokes

A phone company put an ad in the paper in order to recruit workers. The next day, two groups of workers show up - a crew of five men and a crew of five blonde women.
The company cannot decide who to give the job to, so they give the two groups a test. The company boss says, "Each crew will receive a telephone pole that must be installed into the ground. Whoever is able to hammer it in first will get the job."
Both groups agree that this is a fair test, so off they go in the Company trucks with the long telephone poles sticking out the back. A few hours pass, and finally, at 5:00, the male crew returns.
"Yes!" they shout. "We came back first, so we get the job!!"
"Good work, men," says the boss, "However, we must wait until the other crew comes back to make sure that the reason they're delayed is not because of traffic or the truck breaking down."
"Fine, no problem," say the men.
An hour passes, two more...

This is a genuine psychological test:
It is a story about a girl. While at the funeral of her own mother, she met this
guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream
guy she believed him to be just that, she fell in love with him there but never
asked for his number and then... A few days later the girl killed her own
sister.
Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?
Give this some thought for a while before you scroll down.
Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.
If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath.
This was a test by a famous American psychologist used to test if one has the
same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in this test
and answered it correctly. If you didn't answer correctly - good for you.
If your friends hit the jackpot, may I suggest that you keep your distance.

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked. He was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.

North Korea said Monday it has performed its first underground nuclear weapons test. Sunglasses were still mandatory.
It's still unclear whether an actual test took place. The U.S. Geological Survey said it detected no seismic activity in North Korea, since North Korea is not in the U.S..

Now I lay me down to study, I pray the Lord I won't go nutty.
If I should fail to learn this junk, I pray the Lord I will not flunk.
But if I do, don't pity me at all, Just lay my bones in the study hall.
Tell my Prof I did my best, Then pile my books upon my chest.
Now I lay me down to rest, I pray I'll pass tomorrow's test.
If I should die before I wake, That's one less test I'll have to take.

Two men, Robert and James, applied for an engineering position. Both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the exam both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Robert and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give James the job." Robert replied, "Why? We both correctly answered nine questions. I believe I should get this job, especially since I've grown up in this town and James just moved here." The manager said, "We made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed." "How could one incorrect answer be better than the other?," asked Robert. "Simple," said the manager. "James put down on question #5, 'I don't know', and you put down, 'Neither do I."'

Three elderly men visited the doctor for a memory test. The doctor asked the first one, "What's three times three?" "285!" the man replied. Worried, the doctor turned to the second man. "How about you? What's three times three?" "Uh, Monday!" the second man shouted. Even more concerned, the doctor motioned to the third man. "Well, what do you say? What's three times three?" "Nine!" the third man replied. "Excellent!" the doctor exclaimed. "How did you get that?" "Oh, it's pretty simple," the man explained. "You just subtract the 285 from Monday!"