Thanksgiving Jokes / Recent Jokes

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.
"Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" said the daughter.
"Did it not taste good?" her mother asked.
"I don't know," the blonde said. "It wouldn't sit still!"

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went."Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" said the daughter."Did it not taste good?" her mother asked."I don't know," the blonde said. "It wouldn't sit still!"

Q. What sound does a space turkey make?
A. hubble, hubble, hubble.
Keep your eye off the turkey dressing
It makes him blush!!!!
I heard Jeff Smith, aka The Frugal Gourmet, read this on the air. Apparently a letter from a viewer:
"I have had my turkey in the freezer for a year and a half. Will it take longer to thaw?"
Q: If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
A: Their age!
Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
A: Plymouth Rock!
Q: How do you hold a turkey in suspense?
(get it?)

The Tennessee Titans wiped the field with the Detroit Lions on Thanksgiving Day. We haven't seen a mismatch that bad since the original Thanksgiving.

Q: What's the best way to stuff a turkey?
A: Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!
Q: Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey at Thanksgiving?
A: Because they couldn't get the moose in the oven!
Q: What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
A: "Quack! Quack! Quack!"
Q: What did the Pilgrim vampire celebrate?
A: Fangsgiving!

I think I'm addicted to cold turkey;
really hard to quit.

There was an elderly southern widow who lived in a large mansion. She was feeling generous when it came to Thanksgiving, so she called up the local military base, and asked to speak with the lieutenant.

"Please send up four nice young men to eat dinner here on Thanksgiving, but please, don't send any Jews. Please, no Jews."

The lieutenant replied, "No problem ma'am, and I am sure I speak for the army when I say we all appreciate your kindness."

Well, Thanksgiving rolled around, and the widow went to answer the door when it rang. She was surprised to see four of the darkest skinned men boys that anyone had ever seen, especially in the South.

"But... But... There must be some mistake," she stammered.

One of them replied, "No ma'am, Lieutenant Goldstein doesn't make mistakes."