Thanksgiving Jokes / Recent Jokes

What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
He had an arrow escape

A letter from the Seattle School District tells teachers to remind students not to be too happy this Thanksgiving, because the holiday is seen as a "time of mourning" by many Native Americans (and European Socialists).

"After all, we don’t want them to end up like flag-waving patriots," the Superintendent said, "kids need to know that there are so many reasons to hate who you are."

Seattle Friends of Dennis Kucinich were delighted.

.....Another hilarious outtake from that runaway holiday smash hit.. Harold & Kumars " Toke it up " Thanksgiving

Just think, if the pilgrims had killed a cat instead of a turkey, we would all be eating pussy for thanksgiving

If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?

' Still, there are some things a big company can do that a small band of programmers could never hope to accomplish. This was best shown to me this week by reader Brian P. McLean, who points out that according to his Microsoft Outlook 97 scheduling/datebook application, Thanksgiving falls this year on *Wednesday*, November 26.

'Thanksgiving has always fallen on Thursday before. Wednesday may be an improvement. I don't know.'

The top ten reasons college students are looking forward to Thanksgiving break...
10. You'll know that your turkey is a Butterball rather than a Grade F yet semi-edible fur ball
9. Your mother will not be serving your mashed potatoes and stuffing with an ice cream scooper
8. Pumpkin pie is a great alternative to green jello.
7. After your eighth glass of cider, your emergency dash to the bathroom will not be delayed by having to line the seat with toilet paper.
6. Clean underwear, comfortable bed, access to a car, bedroom larger than a 12x14 cell... OK, even if it is for only four days.
5. To eat your meals the only trek you'll have to make is from the couch to the kitchen, rather than the dorm to the dining hall...in below freezing weather.
4. Instead of listening to ''when I first started teaching here...'' you can be entertained by ''when your mother was your age...'' and ''during the Depression we weren't lucky enough to have brussels sprouts. Hell, all more...