Therapist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time.
She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist.
Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang. So she went to see him.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all your crose."
The woman did as she was told.
"Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room." Again,
The woman did as she was instructed.
Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me." So
she did..
Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, "Your probrem vewy bad. You
haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."
Worried, the woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"
Dr. Chang sighed more...

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome Teed Off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She then explained that she was a physical therapist: "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd just allow me!" she told him earnestly.
"Ummph, oooh, nnoo, I'll be all right.... I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in a fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside, more...

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date, nor any sex in quite sometime. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her MD recommended that she go see Dr.Chang, the well-known Oriental sex therapist. So, she went to see him.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all your crose.
"Now, get down and crawl reery fass to the other side of the room.
So, she did...
Dr. Chang then said, "OK now crawl reery fass to me, so she did. Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said "Your probrem vewy bad, you haf Zachary Disease, worse case I ever see, that why you not haf sex or dates.
Confused, the woman asked, "What is Zachary Disease?
Dr. Chang replied, "It when your face rook Zachary rike your ass.

A woman sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these short-term relationships. "Isn't there some way to judge the size of a man's equipment from the outside?" she asked earnestly.
"The only foolproof way, is by the size of his feet," counseled the therapist.
So the woman went downtown and proceeded to cruise the streets, until she came across a young fellow standing in an unemployment line with the biggest feet she had ever laid her eyes on. She took him out to dinner, wined and dined him, and then took him back to her apartment for an evening of abandon.
When the man woke up the next morning, the woman had already gone but, by the bedside table was a $20 bill and a note that read, "With my compliments, take this money and go out and buy a pair of shoes that fit you."

I started seeing a therapist. She didn't know I was seeing her. That was kinda fun.

A noted sex therapist realized that people often lie about the frequency of their encounters, so he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone had sex.
To prove his theory, he filled up an auditorium with people, and went down the line asking each person to smile. Using the size of the person's smile, the therapist was able to guess accurately how often each person had sex. The last man in line was grinning from ear to ear.
"Twice a day," the therapist guessed, but was surprised when the man said no. "Once a day, then?" Again the answer was no. "Twice a week?"
"No."
"Twice a month?"
"No."
When the doctor asked, "Once a year?" the man finally said yes.
The therapist was angry that his theory hadn't worked with this individual, and he asked the man, "What the heck are you so happy about?"
The man answered, "Tonight's the night!"

Stammerer: "I hea.. hea... heard tha... that you can hel... hel... help me".
Speech therapist: "Yes, sure. Ease yourself in the chair, look straight in my eyes, and count slowly till ten".
Stammerer: "O... one, t... two, th... th... three,. .... eight, nine, ten. It's wonderful, I don't stammer anymore!"
Speech therapist: "My fee is 300 dollar."
Stammerer: "H... h... how mu... mu... much?!"