Thick Jokes / Recent Jokes
Yo momma's glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map she sees people waving.
arab coffee:
Thick, black, bitter coffee, traditionally served in
tiny cups at gunpoint.
calorie:
Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by
the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a
particular food.
microwave oven:
Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle
of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within
the cooking compartment.
oven:
Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of
meat and poultry.
porridge:
Thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since
children were granted the right to sue their parents. The name is an
amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."
preheat:
To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before
cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is
put in, as well as when it is removed.
recipe:
A series of step-by-step more...
Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving. Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.
A group of girlfriends are on vacation, when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads "For Women Only"
Since they were without their boyfriends or parents, they decide to go in.
The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works.
"We have 5 floors...go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide, since each floor has signs telling you what's inside"
So they start going up, and on the first floor the sign reads
"All the men here have it short and thin"
...the friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the Second floor reads
"All the men here have it long and thin."
Still, this wasn't good enough so the friends move up to the Third floor, where the sign read "All the men here have it short and thick."
This was still another disappointment, but knowing there are still 2 floors left, they more...
(Long)
It was the funniest damn thing that has ever happened to me. A couple of weeks ago we decided to cruise out to Ryan's Steakhouse for dinner. It was a Wednesday night, which means that macaroni and beef was on the hot bar, indeed the only night of the week that it is served. Wednesday night is also kid's night at Ryan's, complete with Dizzy the Clown wandering from table to table entertaining them. It may seem that the events about to be told have little connection to those two circumstances, but all will be clear in a moment.
We went through the line and placed our orders for the all-you-can-eat hot bar then sat down as far away from the front of the restaurant as possible in order to keep the density of kids down a bit. Then I started my move to the hot bar. Plate after plate of macaroni and beef were consumed that evening. I tell you-in all, four heaping plates of the pseudo-Italian ambrosia were shoved into my belly. I was sated. Perhaps a bit too much, more...