Thief Jokes / Recent Jokes

Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Investigating a purse snatching, Brunswick, Georgia, detectives picked up a man who fit the thief's description and drove him back to the scene. He was told to exit the car and face the victim for an I.D. The suspect dutifully eyed the victim, and blurted, "Yeah, that's the woman I robbed."
Elsewhere...
In Nashville, they tell of Fred "Bubba" Johnson, the burglar who fell asleep on the sofa of the home he was robbing, only to be awakened by police.
Meanwhile...
In Thibodaux, Louisiana, a robber with a thick Cajun accent couldn't get restaurant patrons to understand his demand for money. Frustrated, he whipped out his gun, but it wouldn't fire. Grabbing the cash register, he ran - but got only three feet before falling down. The register was still plugged into the wall... Unplugging it, he tried again, but a regular diner decked him and called police.
And...
In Rhode Island, cops were sure they had the right guy when the suspect in a string more...

Investigating a purse snatching, Brunswick, Georgia, detectives picked up a man who fit the thief's description and drove him back to the scene. He was told to exit the car and face the victim for an I.D. The suspect dutifully eyed the victim, and blurted, "Yeah, that's the woman I robbed."Elsewhere...In Nashville, they tell of Fred "Bubba" Johnson, the burglar who fell asleep on the sofa of the home he was robbing, only to be awakened by police. Meanwhile...In Thibodaux, Louisiana, a robber with a thick Cajun accent couldn't get restaurant patrons to understand his demand for money. Frustrated, he whipped out his gun, but it wouldn't fire. Grabbing the cash register, he ran - but got only three feet before falling down. The register was still plugged into the wall... Unplugging it, he tried again, but a regular diner decked him and called police. And...In Rhode Island, cops were sure they had the right guy when the suspect in a string of coin-machine thefts more...

A man gave all of his seven umbrellas for repair at one time and told the shopkeeper he would pick it up in the evening while back from work. On the way to work in Bus, out of habit he grabbed the umbrella of the woman sitting next to him, got up and started walking. The woman started yelled, "Umbrella thief, Umbrella thief."

The embarrassed guy returned the umbrella and apologized, before getting abused and beaten up by other woman loving passengers.

In the evening he picked up all his umbrellas repaired, put them under his arms and started walking towards home. Unfortunately the morning lady returning from work bumped into him.

The lady commented, "Seems, you had a profitable day at work today."

Two Thieves Robbed A Bank And Were Tired At Last.
The First Thief Told To The Second- Lets Count The Money.
The Second Thief Said-Why Brother? We Will See It In The Newspaper Tomorrow!!

While walking home one night, Tom was suddenly jumped by a thief. The two of them began to wrestle and roll around on the ground.
Although Tom put up a tremendous fight, the thief managed to get the best of him and pinned him to the ground.
After going through Tom's pockets and searching him, all the thief found was 25 cents.
Surprised at this, the thief asked Tom why he bothered to fight so hard for a mere 25 cents.
"Was that all you wanted?" Tom asked. "I thought you were after the five hundred dollars I have hidden in my shoe!"

a thief had got into a house and was about to steal the money when someone said jesus is watching u he turned around 2 go when he thought dat he might as well take the money and he was about 2 take the money when again the voice said jesus is watching u he turned on the light and there was a parrot the thief asked the parrot what his name was the parrot said robert the thief said who was so dum 2 name u dat? the parrot said the same 1 who was watching u all the time the thief turned around 2 see a dog(jesus)