Thief Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Master Thief in London was giving a Coaching Class on Stealing and had students from all over the world. The Indian happened to be a Sardar. After several grueling classes on Theory came the final and decisive class of all, a practical demo.
The master took all his pupils to a house nearby in the darkness of night and entered that. But by mistake he overturns a vase.
Owner: Who's that?
Master: Miaooow...
The owner is satisfied and goes back to sleep. Mission accomplished.
The Sardar is very impressed. Returning to Punjab, he decides to open a similar class for his fellow Sardars. Does so and follows the same schedule of theory classes.
Then he goes for the demo with his pupils. Enters the house of a rich Sardar in darkness, and tells the other Sardars, " These are the various steps for stealing. You just observe. " Firstly, he goes and overturns a vase.
Owner: Koun Hai? ( Who's that? more...
BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME IN HANDY
A repeat offender got a life sentence for a small-time shoplifting caper in Jupiter, Florida. The man stole $49.73 worth of boxer shorts, panties, a sports bra and some cigarette lighters from a Wal-Mart store. His fatal mistake was flashing a knife at a security guard - which turned his petty theft into a felony. Since the man had been released from prison less than three years ago, Florida's repeat offender law required the judge to send him away for life without the possibility of parole.
INSULT TO INJURY
An unemployed sanitation worker in Miami is also facing life in prison - for shooting himself in the privates. In a drunken stupor, the man reached for a pistol he had hidden in his pants. The gun went off, and the bullet struck the man in the... nuggets. At first, he told officers someone else had shot him, but changed his story after paramedics found the shell casing in his underwear. Cops ruled the shooting more...
Banta's wife, Preeto was exceptionally fat due to hormonal imbalance. On one of Banta's trip to attend a friend's wedding, a thief broke in Banta's house. However, the thief could not get lucky. He was caught by Banta's wife, Preeto and was laid on the ground.
Hearing the shouts, their domestic help, Bahadur got up. Bahadur, being bahadur could not help much in holding the thief. She could not hold him for much long. Using her weight to her advantage, she sat on the thief.
Then Preeto dictated Bahadur to go to the Village Police Post and call the police. After 5 minutes, Preeto saw Bahadur searching for something. He vanished and appeared after 6-7 minutes. Preeto asked whether the police is coming? Bahadur replied that he was still to call them and he was looking for his sleepers.
The thief, who was under the tremendous weight of Preeto, told the servant to wear his sleepers and just call the police immediately.
Who was the worlds greatest thief? Atlas, because he held up the whole world!
A Master Thief in London was giving a Coaching Class on Stealing and had students from all over the world. The Indian happened to be a Sardar. After several grueling classes on Theory came the final and decisive class of all, a practical demo. The master took all his pupils to a house nearby in the darkness of night and entered that. But by mistake he overturns a vase. Owner: Who's that? Master: Miaooow... The owner is satisfied and goes back to sleep. Mission accomplished. The Sardar is very impressed. Returning to Punjab, he decides to open a similar class for his fellow Sardars. Does so and follows the same schedule of theory classes. Then he goes for the demo with his pupils. Enters the house of a rich Sardar in darkness, and tells the other Sardars, " These are the various steps for stealing. You just observe. " Firstly, he goes and overturns a vase. Owner: Koun Hai? ( Who's that? ) Sardar: Mai Billi. ( I am the cat.) Owner: Oh, Billi ( Oh. Cat.) and goes back to sleep.
Judge: Why did you steal this man’s watch?
Thief: I didn’t steal it. He gave it to me.
Judge: When?
Thief: When I showed him my gun.
A master thief in london was giving a coaching class on stealing and had students from all over the world. The indian happened to be a sardar. After several grueling classes on theory came the final and decisive class of all, a practical demo. The master took all his pupils to a house nearby in the darkness of night and entered that. But by mistake he overturns a vase. Owner: who's that? Master: miaooow... The owner is satisfied and goes back to sleep. Mission accomplished. The sardar is very impressed. Returning to punjab, he decides to open a similar class for his fellow sardars. Does so and follows the same schedule of theory classes. Then he goes for the demo with his pupils. Enters the house of a rich sardar in darkness, and tells the other sardars, " these are the various steps for stealing. You just observe. " firstly, he goes and overturns a vase. Owner: koun hai? ( who's that? ) Sardar: mai billi. ( i am the cat.) Owner: , billi (. Cat.) And goes back to sleep.