Third Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?
A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!
Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood....good thing he didn't say two!
Tyson's favorite football team-the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS.
For the third fight between Mike and Evander, Tyson wants it to be held in Earie, PA.
New Tyson burger: There is a piece of the champ in every bite!!!
They are making a new boxing term for Tyson....instead of KO, it will be a Van Gogh. "Evander was Van Gogh'd in the third!!!"
Can't beat um...Eat um!!!
If Tyson fights Golatta, is it more points for a low blow or an ear bite?
In this corner Evander "the Real Meal" Holyfield!!!
Before the fight, Mike's trainer told him to get a piece of Holyfied. Oops, bad advice.
Iron BITE Tyson, the heavyweight CHOMP of the world!
there were three friends
two walked in to a bar an the third one ducked
(a bar like a meatl bar and the third one ducked under it)
Three nuns on a train had been getting to know one another and decided to tell each other what their greatest sins were. The first nun says, "My greatest sin is sex. Every year I go out for a week and work as a prostitute. Of course, I put all the money I earn into the poor box."
The second nun says, "My greatest sin is drinking. Every year I take the money from the poor box and go out drinking for a solid week." The third just sits there quietly.
So the first nun says to her, "Come on, we've told you our worst sins. Now you have to tell us yours."
The third nun says, "My greatest sin is that I gossip, and I can't wait to get off this train."
Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight? A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!! Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood....good thing he didn't say two! Tyson's favorite football team-the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS. For the third fight between Mike and Evander, Tyson wants it to be held in Earie, PA.New Tyson burger: There is a piece of the champ in every bite!!! They are making a new boxing term for Tyson....instead of KO, it will be a Van Gogh. "Evander was Van Gogh'd in the third!!!"Can't beat um...Eat um!!! If Tyson fights Golatta, is it more points for a low blow or an ear bite? In this corner Evander "the Real Meal" Holyfield!!! Before the fight, Mike's trainer told him to get a piece of Holyfied. Oops, bad advice.Iron BITE Tyson, the heavyweight CHOMP of the world!
Taken from the May/June 1989 Utne Reader, which took this from
Shawn Gosieski, New Cyclist, Fall 1988. (and it has come in from
other sources -ed)
A Zen teacher saw five of his students returning from the market,
riding their bicycles. When they arrived at the monastery and had dismounted,
the teacher asked the students, "Why are you riding your bicycles?"
The first student replied, "The bicycle is carrying the sack of
potatoes. I am glad that I do not have to carry them on my back!" The
teacher praised the first student, "You are a smart boy! When you grow
old, you will not walk hunched over like I do."
The second student replied, "I love to watch the trees and fields
pass by as I roll down the path!" The teacher commended the second student,
"Your eyes are open, and you see the world."
The third student replied, "When I ride my bicycle, I am content
to chant nam myoho renge more...
Three elderly gents were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now.
"I would like my grandchildren to say, 'He was successful in business,'" declared the first man.
"Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want them to say, 'He was a loyal family man.'"
Turning to the third gent, he asked, "So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?"
"Me?" the third one replied. "I want them to say, 'He certainly looks good for his age.'"
The cheif instructs his apprentice: "You take two thirds of water, one third of cream, one third of broth..."
The apprentice: "But that makes four thirds already!"
"Well - just take a larger pot!"