Thistle Jokes / Recent Jokes

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Thisle.
Thisle who?
Thisle have to hold you until dinner's ready. Knock Knock
Who's there!
Thistle!
Thistle who?
Thistle be the last time I knock on this door!

There are three men a plane; an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman.
When each of them flew over their country they dropped an item.
When the plane flew over England, the Englishman dropped a rose; when the plane flew over Scotland, the Scotsman dropped a thistle, and finally, when the plane flew over Ireland, the Irishman dropped a bomb.(Yes, Irishmen are crazy!)
They then flew over all the countries again, but passing by where they dropped the items.
In England the rose had dropped in a bus station and a woman was weeping.
They asked, "Woman, why are you weeping?" She said in reply, "Well, the Lord sent me a rose but I'm allergic to them."
Next, they journeyed over to Scotland. In Scotland also the thistle had dropped in a bus station.
In the station a man was screaming and yelling. They asked the man, "Man, why are you yelling?" He answered, "Well, a thistle fell from the sky, but it landed in my more...

"Winterize your lawn," the big sign outside the garden store commanded. I've fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die anyway. Now I'm supposed to winterize it? I hope it's too late. Grass lawns have to be the stupidest thing we've come up with outside of thong swimsuits! We constantly battle dandelions, Queen Anne's lace, thistle, violets, chicory and clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass that must be nursed through an annual four-step chemical dependency.
Imagine the conversation The Creator might have with St. Francis about this: "Frank you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the Midwest? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracted butterflies, honey bees and flocks of more...