Thomas Jokes / Recent Jokes
deer santa: I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy
Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa
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Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa
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Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass more...
Can't Spell
Thomas Lee Jones, 24, was arrested last September for robbing a Santa Barbara restaurant with a note threatening "to shot" employees. Police set up a roadblock asking people to spell "shoot". They soon apprehended Jones.
Can't Count
In Cranston, R.I., Donald M. Thomas, 34, escaped in March after serving 89 days of a 90-day jail sentence for disorderly conduct and thus now faces up to 20 years in prison.
Brain?
Lawry Adams, 27, was arrested in Harrison, N.Y., in Jan. when he was stopped in a routine traffic check and could not produce a driver's license. He gave his brother's name (which he was unable to spell) and his brother's date of birth (but was not able to give the age that corresponds to it).
After the Class was over the teacher had to help putting shoes to little Thomas as usual. One fine day his shoes were very tight the young teacher had a hell of a time to put them on. When al last the job was done.
1) Thomas points out to the young lady that the shoes were on wrong feet.
2) Teacher looked at them carefully and they were really on the wrong feet, so she fought removing them and fit them on again correctly and carefully.
3) Then Thomas:- Those are really not my shoes.
4) Teacher looked at him terrifying and said' 'WHY COULD'NT YOU TELL THAT BEFORE'' She removed them after a heavy struggle.
5) Then Thomas told her that these shoes belong to his brother, because it was cold his Mom wanted him to wear them this Morning.
6) Finely the Teacher holding her mouth tight, not letting out any nasty words, breathing hard and got his shoes inserted again.
7) And then the young exhausted teachers told Thomas Okay fine now put your gloves on hurry more...
Isiah Thomas was rushed to the hospital after overdosing on sleeping pills. Which is the best way to watch a Knicks game.
Knicks coach Isiah Thomas has said that all of his players are "untouchable." Much like plague victims and lepers. Despite this, Thomas believes that the women in the organization are plenty touchable.
Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore.
"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."
The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on."
The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."