Thousand Jokes / Recent Jokes

There's this man who's taking a walk around the red light district
until he passes a whorehouse with a blinking sign saying: "The
Hooker With Three Breasts...". The man get's just a little
interested and thinks "well... that could be a once in a lifetime
experience". So he goes in and walks up to the man behind the
counter. "I'd like to see the hooker with the three breasts" he
says.
"Are you sure you can afford that... It'll cost you a thousand
dollars" the pimp replies. But, the man is too exited, pull's his
wallet and pays him the money. So, he's taken up three stairs to a
little room in the back of the house and when he opens the room...
there she is. The room is dark but as he comes closer he sees it...
three breasts! And so the man absolutely has the night of his life.
The next day the man walks past that same whorehouse and thinking of
the night before and the time he had, he goes in more...

An old man and women are going out for a meal to celebrate there 50th anniversary.The old man is getting ready but cant find his shoes so he looks under the bed and finds a box with 2 eggs in it and a thousand pounds so that evening he questions his wife about it at dinner.
"Well.." she said "each time I was unfaithful to you I put an egg in the box"
"And what about the thousand pound?" asked the old man.
"Well..." Replies the woman "Each time I got a dozen eggs I sold them"

An old man and women are going out for a meal to celebrate there 50th anniversary.The old man is getting ready but cant find his shoes so he looks under the bed and finds a box with 2 eggs in it and a thousand pounds so that evening he questions his wife about it at dinner."Well.." she said "each time I was unfaithful to you I put an egg in the box""And what about the thousand pound?" asked the old man."Well..." Replies the woman "Each time I got a dozen eggs I sold them"

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken
for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and
I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool. This time, you wait
and I'll go get a ladder."

THE NBA PLAYER ADOPTION PROGRAM NEEDS YOU! With an NBA player's strike against the team owners looming, now is the time for us to show the world just how much we care. It's just not right. Hundreds of basketball players in our very own country are living at or just below the seven-figure salary level! Atrocious! And, as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of pay for several weeks--possibly a whole year--as a result of the strike. But now you can help! For about two thousand dollars a day--that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV--you can help a basketball player remain economically viable during his time of need. Two thousand dollars a day may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to a basketball player it could mean the difference between a vacation spent golfing in Florida or a Mediterranean cruise. For you, two thousand dollars is nothing more than three months rent or mortgage payments. But to a basketball player, two thousand dollars a day will more...

The Pope and God were conversing the other day, and the Pope said, "Hey God, I've got good news and I've got bad news."
God replied, "Well I have always liked good news before bad so..."
The Pope responded, "Well we finally have been able to unite all the known religions on Earth under one name."
God says, "Well that is just great, I have been trying for six thousand years, and you did it in less than two thousand. Now what is the bad news?"
"We have to relocate the Vatican to Salt Lake City."

There once was a man who had three girlfriends, and he couldn't decide which one to marry.
He decided to give five thousand dollars to each woman to see what she would do with it.
The first woman bought new clothes for herself. She got an expensive new hairdo, a massage, a facial, a manicure, and a pedicure.
She said, I spent the money so that I would look pretty for you because I love you so much.
The second woman bought a VCR, a CD player, a set of golf clubs, and a tennis racket and gave them to the man.
I used the money to buy you these gifts because I love you, she told him.
The third woman invested the money in the stock market and within a short time had doubled her investment.
She returned the initial five thousand dollars to the man and reinvested the profit.
Im investing in our future because I love you so much, she said.
The man carefully considered how each woman had spent the money, and married the woman with the biggest tits.