Thyself Jokes / Recent Jokes

Rush Limbaugh announced the following on his TV show, June 29. It was reprinted in the July 1, {Washington [DC] Times}. He stated that with all the attacks on the "religious right" by the liberals, it was time to find out what their agenda was, so without further delay, here is
The 14 Commandments of the Religious Left (in no particular order):
Thou shalt have no other God except thyself, after all, it's thy self-esteem that counts. If thou doth not love thyself, who will?
Thou shalt not make any gravn image out of any substances which cannot be recycled.
Thou shalt not take the name of liberals in criticism, including feminists, racial minorities, or any person who thinks he is a victim of America.
Remember the anniversaries of {Roe v. Wade} and Anita Hill's testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee, and keep them holy.
Honor thy mother. If she's dysfunctional, it's thy father's fault.
Thou shalt not kill. With these exceptions: life forms more...

Beware the lightning that lurketh in the undischarged capacitor, lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a most un technicianlike manner.
Cause thou the switch that supplieth large quantities of juice to be opened and thus tagged, that thy days in this Earthly vale of tears be long.
Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth and upon which thou toil are grounded and thusly tagged lest they lift thee unto radio heaven
Tarry thou not amongst those fools that engageth in intentional shocks, for they are surely non believers and are not longeth for this world.
Take care that thou useth the proper method when thou taketh the measure of a high voltage circuit, lest thou incinerate both thyself and thy meter.
Take care thou tampereth not with interlocks and safety devices, for this incurreth the wrath of thy supervisor and bringeth the fury of the safety inspector upon thy head and about thy shoulders.
Toil not thou on energized equipment, for if thou more...