Timer Jokes

She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.
He walked in; She turned and said,
You've got to make love to me this very moment."
His eyes lit up and he thought,

"This is my lucky day."
Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her
and then gave it his all;
right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said,

"Thanks,"
and returned to the stove.
More than a little puzzled, he asked,

"What was that all about?"
She explained,
"The egg timer's broken."

An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"
The old timer said, "I'm a golfer & that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight & out golfing up and down the fairways.
The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?
The old timer said, "Who said my dad's dead?
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive? How old is he?"
The old timer said, "He's 100 yrs old and, in fact, he golfed with me this morning... and that's why he's still alive... he's a golfer."
The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"
The doctor said, more...

An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a check up and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, “What do you attribute to your good health? ” The old timer said, “I’m a turkey hunter and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out chasing turkeys up and down the mountains. ” The doctor said, “Well, I’m sure that helps but there has got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died? ” The old timer said, “Who said my dad’s dead? ” The doctor said, ”You mean you’re 80 years old and your dad’s still alive? How old is he? ” The old timer said, “He’s 100 yrs old and in fact he hunted turkey with me this morning and that’s why he’s still alive.. he’s a turkey hunter. ” The doctor said, “Well that’s great but I’m sure there’s more to it. How about your dad’s dad…how old was he when he died? ” The old timer said, “Who said my grandpa’s dead? ” The doctor more...

Once upon a time, in a kingdom not far from here, a King summoned two of
his advisors for a test. He showed them both a shiny metal box with two
slots in the top, a control knob and a lever.
"What do you think it is," he asked.
One advisor, an Engineer, answered first. "It is a toaster," he said.
The King then asked, "How would you design an embedded computer for it?"
The Engineer replied, "Using a four-bit microcontroller. I would write a
simple program that reads the darkness knob and quantizes its position to
one of sixteen shades of darkness: from snow white to coal black. The
program would use that darkness level as the index to a sixteen-element
table of initial timer values. Then it would turn on the heating elements
and start the timer with the initial value selected from the table. At the
end of the timer delay it would turn off the heat and pop up the toast.
Come back next week, and I'll more...