Tiny Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bill walks into a bar. He sits down. He takes out a little tiny man and sits him on the bar. Takes out a little tiny piano. Sets it on the bar. The little tiny man starts playing the little tiny piano.Bob, who is sitting next to Bill, looks at him and says, "Holy crap. Where'd you get that?" Bill replies, "Well, I wished for it. Out back, behind the bar, there's a lamp with a genie in it. I rubbed it and he granted me a wish..."So Bob goes out behind the bar and sure enough, he finds a lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out and says that he'll grant him one wish. "I wish for a million bucks!" Bob said. So the sky parts and a million ducks fall out. Bob walks back into the bar and sits back down next to Bill. "What the hell? I asked for a million bucks and I got a million DUCKS!" Bob said frustrated. Bill looks at Bob and nods. "Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"

A baby boy was just born. He had all his pieces and looked quite normal, except that he was laughing - I mean laughing real hard. All the doctors and nurses were examining the little guy in front of his worried parents. He just kept on laughing, his tiny fists all closed and tears rolling from his eyes. One at a time, a pediatrician unfolded his tiny fingers to check if his hand was all right, and guess what he found?
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The birth control pill.

In Alaskas National Forests, a tourists guide was giving a talk to a group of tourists about hiking in grizzly bear territory: "Most bear encounters occur when hikers, being extra quiet along the trails in hopes of viewing wildlife, accidentally stumble into bears. The resulting suprise can be catastrophic." To avoid this, he suggested that each hiker wear tiny bells on their clothing to warn the bears of their presence. "Also," he said further, "be especially cautious when you see signs of bears in the area, especially when you see bear droppings."One tourist asked, "How do you identify bear droppings?""Oh thats easy," the guide explained, "its the ones with all the tiny bells in them!"

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet-flush burials for dead goldfish It’s a long story but one that will have you laughing out LOUD!!
Overview: I had to take my son’s hamster to the vet. Here’s what happened:
Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was something wrong with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room. “He’s just lying there looking sick, ” he told me, “I’m serious, Dad. Can you help? ”
I put my best hamster-healer look on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little rodents was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do. (Call my wife.)
“Honey, ” I called, “come look at the hamster! ” “Oh, my gosh, ” my wife diagnosed after a minute. “She’s having babies. ” “What? ” My son demanded.
“But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom! ”
I was equally outraged. “Hey, how can more...

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink? ” The bartender considers it, and then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, “If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening? ” The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, which begins to sing along with the rat’s music. While the man is enjoying his free drinks, a stranger confronts him and offers him more...

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him more...

A man walks into a bar and has a drink.
Then he hears a tiny voice say, "You are so handsome."
He looks to see who said that but finds no one. So he drinks again.
Then he hears a tiny voice say, "You are so smart and kind."
He looks around again and doesn't find anyone. He asks the bartender whats going on.
The bartender says, "O that, that's the peanuts. They're complimentary."