Together Jokes / Recent Jokes
There where these three guys; a Polish guy, an Italian
guy, and a Jewish guy. They all worked together at a factory. Everyday they
notice that their boss leaves work a little early. So one day they meet together
and say that today when the boss leaves, they'll all leave early too. The boss
left and so did they.
The Jewish guy goes home and goes to rest so nhe can get an early start. The
Italian guy goes home and cook dinner. The Polish guy goes home and walks to his
bedroom. He opens the door slowly and sees his wife in bed with his boss; he
quietly shuts the door and leaves.
The next day the Italian and Jewish guys are talking and plan to go home early
again. They ask the Polish
guy if he wants to leave early again and he says, "NO WAY."
They ask him " why not?"
"Because", said the Polish guy; "yesterday i almost
got caught! "
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome Teed Off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She then explained that she was a physical therapist: "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd just allow me!" she told him earnestly.
"Ummph, oooh, nnoo, I'll be all right.... I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in a fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside, more...
Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity to each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted both to go to the same college, but, the girl was accepted to a college on the East Coast, and the guy went to a college on the West Coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and to spend anytime they could together.
As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. Even when he e-mailed her, she took days to return his messages. Finally, she confessed to him that she wanted to date around.
He didn't take this very well and increased his calls, letters, and e-mails trying to win back her love. She soon became very annoyed with his persistence and now with a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back. So, what she did is this: she took a Polaroid picture of her sucking her more...
On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "my dear, we are married now, you can open your robe."The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. "Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture." Puzzled she asks, "MY picture?" He answers, "yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever". She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "why do you wear a robe? We are married now." at that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture". He beams and asks, "why?" She answers, "SO I CAN GET IT ENLARGED"!
There was a little girl and a little boy. They done everything together and then one day the little girl saw the little boy naked. She asked whats that big, long, dangly thing? and the boy replied thats my worm.
Then one night they were in the bath together and the little girl asked can i play with your worm and the little boy said NO.
Then the next morning the little boy woke up in pain and saw his worm was broken. He asked the little girl if she knew wat happened and she said, Yes i do. I was playing with your worm and then it spat at me, so i broke snaped it.
An elderly couple are enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a
small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the
first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this
tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you.
"Yes," she says, I remember it well.
"Ok," he says, "How about taking a stroll round there again and we can do it for old time's sake.
"Oooooooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea," she answers.
There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them.
They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the more...
"How could two people as beautiful as you...
Have such an ugly baby?"
"I must admit, you brought Religion into my life...
I never believed in Hell until I met you."
"As you grow older Mom, I think of all the things you've given me...
Like the need for therapy... "
"Someday I hope to get married...
But not to you."
"While we were together, you always said you'd die for me...
Now that we've broken up, it's time to keep your promise."
"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy...
Did you ever find out who the father is?"
"I'm so miserable without you...
It's almost like you're here."
"You look wonderful for your age...
Almost lifelike."
"Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder...
What was I thinking?"
"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
So we're having more...