Tomato Jokes / Recent Jokes

there was two boys and they were brothers and they shared a bunkbed and the older one slepted on top and of coruse the little one sleped on the bottom. then the older boy had his girlfriend over.And then they ended up doing it. the boy was like instead of saying harder and softer say lettuce and tomato. So she was like lettuce lettuce lettuce tomato tomato toamto then the little brother ends up waking up and was like hurrie and make your sandwich your dripping mayonaise on my face.

a family consisting of a mom a dad and a son was remodeling there house. The bouys room was bieng redone so the 3 shared one room with bunk beds.
the boy was on the bottom and the parents on top. the parents wanted to have a 3 some so they invited some friends over.
The mother said " i dont want my son to know so instead of making"noises" you say lettuce tomato pickle."
well they got started and they were like lettuce tomato pickle, well the boy woke up and said "COULD YOU QUIT MAKING SANDWICHES YOUR GETTING MAYONAISE ON ME."
LOL

John was out on a date with a girl he really really liked so he asked her if she wanted to go to his house so they could have sex. So they reached his house and went up to his room. John forgot that he shared a room with his little brother Max. They had bunk beds, and John was on the top bunk. He thought to himself that they wont wake him up. So they got up on the bunk bed and did it anyway. But John told his girl Maria to be quiet, and when she wanted it harder not to moan or anything only to say lettuce, and when she wanted it faster to say tomato. So they were doing it, and Maria was going, "tomato, tomato, lettuce, tomato, lettuce etc" Then all of a sudden, Max wakes up and says, "Will you two please stop making sandwiches up there? Your getting mayonaise on me!"

A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter. "Give me a corned beef sandwich," he ordered.
"Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu, but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it, like our Midnight Special."
"What's a Midnight Special?"
"A triple decker with corned beef, tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, on toasted raisin bread."
"Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it to me on a plate?"
"Why, sure!" Then, turning to the sandwich man, he sang out: "One Midnight Special. Make it one deck, hold the tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, and make the raisin bread white, untoasted!"

A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter. "Give me a corned beef sandwich," he ordered."Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu, but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it, like our Midnight Special.""Whats a Midnight Special?""A triple decker with corned beef, tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, on toasted raisin bread.""Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it to me on a plate?""Why, sure!" Then, turning to the sandwich man, he sang out: "One Midnight Special. Make it one deck, hold the tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, and make the raisin bread white, untoasted!"

New mixed drinks contest winners
With no further ado, here the names are, in alphabetical
order. Which one do you think was THE winner?
Absolut Zero…………. Absolut vodka over frozen nitrogen
Alexander the Grrreat…. Gin, creme de cacao, and sweet cream over corn flakes
American in Paris…….. Kentucky bourbon and champagne
Black Sabbath…………Kahlua and Mogen David wine
Blind Faith………….. Wood alcohol and sacramental wine
Blood Clot……………Vodka, tomato juice, and Jell-O
Bloody Awful…………. Vodka and ketchup
Blue Moon……………. Corn whiskey and Aqua Velva
Coleman Cooler……….. White wine, soda, fried chicken crumbs, and sand
Fuzzy Naval Base………Peach schnapps, orange juice, and ammonia
George Bush………….. George Dickel bourbon and Busch beer
Gorbachev……………. Vodka with a splash of port wine
Honeydew the Dishes……Midori and Dawn
Marie more...

There was this guy and girl that wanted to do it. The boy shared a room with his little brother so they went on the top bunk and he told her "
ok, if you want it harder say lettuce, if you want to change positions say tomato."
So they're up on the top bunk and the girl is saying "
lettuce, lettuce, lettuce, tomato."
over and over again.
All of a sudden the brother in the bottom bunk says "
can you guys stop making sandwiches up there, some mayo got in my eye!"