Tomato Jokes / Recent Jokes

A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer's garden. "I'll give you my two pennies for that tomato," said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine.
"No," said the farmer, "I get a dime for a tomato like that one."
The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, "Will you take two pennies for that one?"
"Yes," replied the farmer, "I'll give you that one for two cents."
"OK," said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer's hand, "I'll pick it up in about a week."

One day two kids parents decided that they wanted to go on a vacation, so the youngest brother was forced to live with his older brother at college.
When the little bro showed up, the oldest brother said that it was reallly cool that he is staying here, and said that there is only one rule.
IF I COME HOME WITH A GIRL, I GET THE TOP BUNK, AND YOU HAVE TO GO STRAIGHT TO BED, AND GO TO SLEEP!
"Okay,"
"Okay,"
Later that night, the little brother, watching TV, heard his brother coming down the hall, but he heard a girls voice with him, so he did what he was told and went straight to bed.
Faking sleep, he watched the older brother and his new love Tina, go up to the top bunk.
"Tina, anytime you want me to go harder, say lettuce, and anytime you want me to change positions, say tomato."
"Haha, okay" replied Tina.
So, in the middle of the night, the little brother is awakened by loud screams of the words lettuce and more...

A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer's garden. "I'll give you my two pennies for that tomato," said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine.

"No," said the farmer, "I get a dime for a tomato like that one."

The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, "Will you take two pennies for that one?"

"Yes," replied the farmer, "I'll give you that one for two cents."

"OK," said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer's hand, "I'll pick it up in about a week."

An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning). After the test, the manager says, "You will be employed at minimum wage, $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you a form to complete and tell you where to report for work on your first day. Taken aback, the man protests that he has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the MS manager replies, "Well, then, that means that you virtually don't exist and can therefore hardly expect to be employed. Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having only $10 in his wallet, he decides to buy a 25 lb flat of tomatoes at the supermarket. Within less than 2 hours, he sells all the tomatoes individually at 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 before going to sleep that night. And thus it dawns on him that he more...

An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning).
After the test, the manager says, "You will be employed at minimum wage, $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you a form to complete and tell you where to report for work on your first day.
Taken aback, the man protests that he has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the MS manager replies, "Well, then, that means that you virtually don't exist and can therefore hardly expect to be employed.
Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having only $10 in his wallet, he decides to buy a 25 lb flat of tomatoes at the supermarket. Within less than 2 hours, he sells all the tomatoes individually at 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 before going to sleep that night.
And thus it dawns more...

There was an older brother and a younger brother sleeping in the same room. The older brother was on the top bunk and the younger brother was on the bottom bunk.
so one night the older brother brings his girl-friend over and they start doin it. So the guy says "Every time you want me to go harder yell lettuce and tomato" so all night she was saying lettuce and tomato lettuce and tomato. finally the younger brother wakes up and says "Quit makin sandwiches up there your getting mayonaise all over my face"!

Cabbage, tap and tomato were having a race.
The cabbage was ahead, the tap was running after him, and the tomato tried to ketchup!