Tonya Jokes / Recent Jokes

Tonya Harding supposedly saved an 81-year-old woman's life at the Lost
and Found Bar in Portland by performing CPR on her (the medics said the
woman had merely fainted). Says Jay Leno: "And I guess out of force of
habit she performed mouth-to-mouth on three bikers at the pool table,
too."

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Disgraced figure skater Tonya Harding just completed her first book. She hopes to read a second one soon. The autobiography is actually 300 pages, and the hardcover version is excellent for bludgeoning your opponents in the knee.

Tonya Harding donned her ice skates and competed again this week after five years.

Asked why she is returning to competition after such a long layoff, Tonya said she just felt like taking another whack at it.

From today's USA Today: Top 10 things that Nancy Kerrigan wouldn't want to hear from her Olympic roommate, Tonya Harding:
No, I insist, you go first.
Your cocoa is the one on the left, and honest, it's suppose to be that color.
Well, yeah, now that you mention it, I guess the tub is kind of slippery.
I know, let's pretend you're a pinata.
I'll design the kneepad, you endorse it. We'll make a foutune!
Do you have any idea how Katarina feels about prractical jokes?
Oh. I guess those don't go in the microwave.
OK, so I've watched the shower scene from Psycho nine straight times. What's your point?
Someone named Knuckles? For me?
Enough, already. It was only a knee!