Towards Jokes / Recent Jokes

Stevie Wonder and Jack Nicklaus are in a bar. Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says: “How is the singing career going? ”
Stevie Wonder says: “Not too bad, the latest album has gone into the top 10, so all in all I think it is pretty good. By the way how’s the golf. ”
Nicklaus replies: “Not too bad, I am not winning as much as I used to but I am still making a bit of money. I have had some problems with my swing but I think I have got that right now. ”
Stevie Wonder says: “I always find that when my swing goes wrong I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it, then the next time I play it seems to be alright. ”
Jack Nicklaus says: “You play golf! ”
Stevie Wonder says: “Yes, I have been playing for years. ”
And Nicklaus says: “But I thought you were blind, how can you play golf if you are blind? ”
He replies: “I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and he calls to me. I listen for the sound of his more...

An old preacher was just getting out of church and was driving home through his neighborhood. As he was turning the corner of one of the major streets in his neighborhood, he noticed 3 boys playing dice on the sidewalk, and betting money along with it. The old preacher thinks to himself how awful the situation is, that these young children are already heading down the life of sin and he should do something to stop it.
The old preacher pulls over and gets out on the opposite side of the street and starts walking over to the boys. He calls out to the oldest looking on and asked the boy to "come here" so that as he's walking towards the boys, the oldest boy would be walking toward him. When the boy reached him, the old preacher asked him what he was doing.
"Gambling, sir" retorted the boy
"Gambling?! How old are you son?" asked the preacher.
"I'm 14"
"14?! Well if you turn that around, you'll be 41. You'll have reached the more...

One day many years ago, a fisherman's wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldn't think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, "Let's not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to us." After several weeks had passed, the fisherman and his wife noticed a peculiar fact. When left alone, one of the boys would also turn towards the sea, while the other boy would face inland. It didn't matter which way the parents positioned the children, the same child always faced the same direction. "Let's call the boys Towards and Away," suggested the fisherman. His wife agreed, and from that point on, the boys were simply known as TOWARDS and AWAY. The years passed and the lads grew tall and strong. The day came when the aging fisherman said to his sons, "Boys, it is time that learned how to make a living from the sea." They provisioned their more...

A woman walks into a curio shop in San Francisco.
Looking around at the exotica, she notices a very
life-like, life-size bronze statue of a rat. It has no
price tag, but it looks so striking she decides she
must have it. She takes it to the owner: "How much is
the bronze rat?""Twelve dollars for the rat, a hundred dollars for the
story," says the owner.The woman gives the shop owner twelve dollars. "I'll
just take the rat; you can keep the story."As she walks down the street carrying the bronze rat,
she notices that a few real rats have crawled out of
alleys and sewers, and begun following her down the
street. This is a bit disconcerting, so she begins
walking a little bit faster.Within a couple of blocks, the group of rats behind
her grows to over a hundred, and they begin squealing.
She starts to trot towards the Bay. She takes a
nervous look around and sees that the rats now number
in the more...

There was a man that owned a giant gorilla and, all its life, he'd never left it on its own. But eventually he had to go on a business trip and had to leave his gorilla in the care of his next-door neighbor. So he explained to his neighbor that all he had to do was feed his gorilla three bananas a day at three, six and nine o'clock. But he was never ever, ever to touch its fur. So the next day the man came and gave the gorilla a banana and looked at it for a while thinking, “Why can't I touch its fur? ” as their didnt seem to be anything wrong with it. Every day he came in and looked for a little while longer as he still couldnt understand until, about a week later, he'd worked himself into a frenzy and decided that he was going to touch the gorilla. He passed it the banana and very gently brushed the back of his hand against its fur. Suddenly the gorilla went ape shit and started to jump around, then it turned and began to running towards the man who, in turn, ran through the more...

One rainy day a Sardar was traveling by his new FERRARI car. He was Not a very good driver and so did not have complete control on it.
Mike Tyson was also riding his bike on the same road. At a speed breaker
Sardar's car came in contact with Tyson's bike.
Tyson got very angry. He dragged sardar out of the car and threw him a Few yards away from the car.
Tyson then drew a small circle around sardar and shouted "Hey!! It's not Easy for you to damage my bike and get away. Now I will be thrashing Your car. You should stay inside this circle and watch me smash your Car. If you come out of the circle, I will kill you immediately".
Then tyson turned towards the car and he smashed its side indicators. Then he looked at sardar. Sardar looked at Tyson's sarcastically. Tyson's anger grew and he smashed the window panes and then again looked
At sardar. Sardar grinned at Tyson. Tyson was confused. Tyson could now not at all control his anger and he Broke the more...

one day a minister and his guards went to a wedi gammanaya in election days. ministers idea was to get some more votes to his side. so he politely talked with the weddas. he went from house to house and sat down with other weddas, had lunch with them etc. to show his love and affection towards the wedi people.
Finally he called all the wedi people to gather around him. Then he started his speech. "Our government has done so many things for the good of this wedi people. We will give you electricity and tap water as soon as we come in to the power. We are hoping to take you all out this woods. we will make your lives much more easier. Vote for me in this election. I am looking forward to serve you. Before i leave does any one have any thing to say?? Or any one has any questions?.. please ask.."
After a short pause a wedi kollek came in front towards the minister... he was scratching his head and saying....
" Apita Deck pojjak thibbanam BLUE pojjak balanda more...