Tower Jokes / Recent Jokes
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"The tower responded, "Who is calling?"The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon."
Pilot to tower... pilot to tower... I am 300 miles from land...600 feet over water... and running out of fuel...please instruct! Tower to pilot... tower to pilot...repeat after me: "Our Father, which art in heaven..."
Pilot: "Pilot to tower. I am 300 miles from land. 600 feet over water and running out of fuel. Please instruct!"
Tower: "Tower to pilot. Tower to pilot. Repeat after me, 'Our Father, who art in heaven...'"
"Hello flight 56, if you hear me rock your wings..""OK TOWER, IF YOU HEAR ME ROCK THE TOWER!!"
The controller, working a busy pattern, told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between aircraft).
The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?
Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth!"
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Unknown Aircraft: "I'm fucking bored!".
Air Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!!"
Unknown Aircraft: "I said I was fucking bored, not fucking stupid!"
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Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124. 7." (124. 7 would be the radio frequency for Departure Control).
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure... By the way, after we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far more...
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"The tower responded, "Who is calling?"The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 oclock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, its Thursday afternoon."
Banta singh is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has Clock Tower
when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Banta
says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I`ll go get a ladder." The man took
the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours
the Banta figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Banta
is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy
the clock."Give me a thousand rupees and I`ll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I`ll go get a ladder."