Tower Jokes / Recent Jokes
Pilot to tower. . . pilot to tower. . . I am 300 miles from land. . . 600 feet over water. . . and running out of fuel. . . please instruct! Tower to pilot. . . tower to pilot. . . repeat after me: "Our Father, which art in heaven. . . "
Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the
second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own
bungee-jumping service in Mexico." The second guy thinks this is
a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything
they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.
They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they
are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly,
more and more people gather to watch them at work.
The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when
he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts
and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him,
he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is
bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first
guy falls again and bounces back up.
This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of
broken more...
Tower: Mission triple-three, do you have problems? Pilot: I think, I have lost my compass. Tower: Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel..
You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.
Tower: Whats your heigth and position? Pilot: Well, Im 6 foot tall and Im sitting front left.
All believable, but un-verrified at this time.
22 November 1996 -- Any More Complaints? The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between aircraft). The pilot of the 727 complained,' Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?' Without missing a beat the controller replied,' Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth!'
15 November 1996 -- What the...?! PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower and said' Tower, this is United 586. We've got a little problem, so go ahead and let PSA go first'. The tower promptly cleared PSA for takeoff before United had a chance to object to the impersonation!
8 November 1996 -- Which Exit Did You Say That Was? A DC-10 had an exceedingly long landing roll out after landing with his Approach speed just a little too high. San Jose Tower:' American 751 Heavy, more...
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon."