Township Jokes

One day, farmer Williams was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a
bucket and an anvil. Then, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.
However, he now had a problem, how to carry all of his purchases home? The livestock dealer said: "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm "Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went.

While walking he met a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked: "Can you tell me how to get to 123 Township
Road?" The farmer said: "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 123 Township Road. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time"
The little old lady said: "How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?" The farmer said: "Holy more...

F A L L S T O W N S H I P, Pa.? It looks like police have cracked the "Gumball Bandit" case.

"We know who did it," said Detective Charles T. Burdick of the Middletown Township police.

A surveillance operation led to the arrest of Aaron Ozlek on Saturday, Dec. 14. He was initially held on parole violation charges, but police said he would soon be charged in the string of attacks on area candy machines.

Evidence "related to the bubblegum burglaries was recovered" in Ozlek's home, police said in a statement.

In the course of several weeks in November and December, 26 gumball and candy dispensers were hit. The thief sometimes took the entire machines and sometimes just the change inside

In one incident, the Gumball Bandit smashed a service station's plate-glass window, causing $1, 800 worth of damage, in order to get at the sweets machine.

The candy-craving criminal also hit machines in the more...