Tracks Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two lawyers went hunting. After a time, they came upon a couple of tracks. The first lawyer looked at them for some time. "Deer tracks," he stated. Then the second man looked at them for even longer. "They are definitely bear tracks, not deer track," he responded, and the men began quarrelling about what kind of tracks they really were.
In fact, they were still arguing when the train hit them.
A blonde a brunette and a redhead were all out on a hunting trip. The Brunette went out the first day and came back with a deer. The redhead asked how did you do that? The Brunette said "Follow the tracks, Follow the tracks shoot the deer." So, the Redhead goes out and comes back with a deer. The blonde asks how did you do that? The red head replies,"Follow the tracks, Follow the tracks shoot the deer." So the blonde goes out follows the tracks follow the tracks GET HIT BY A TRAIN!!
One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified. On the next Railway station the driver was caught: He was found to be a Sardar. He was questioned. He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks etc. Then authorities questioned: Sardarji are you mad! just to save life of one person you put life of so many passengers under danger. You should have overran that person. Sardar said: Exactly, that is what i also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close.
Extracted from US news papers:
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A 24-YEAR-old man being chased by a police officer from a Beverly Hills, Calif., house that he was
suspected of burglarizing ran into a tree branch and knocked himself unconscious. In September, in
Akron, Ohio, police said that Christopher S. Dobbins, 28, in the process of robbing Leonardo's Pizza,
slipped on a streak of grease on the floor, which was the result of a dropped pizza earlier in the
evening, and knocked himself out.
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IN ST. LOUIS IN OCTOBER, according to police, Robert Puelo, 32, stole a hot dog from a 7-Eleven and
left the store, cramming it into his mouth as he ran. Minutes later, Puelo choked to death on a
6-inch piece of the hot dog that lodged in his throat.
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In Council Bluffs, Iowa, seven relatives ranging in age from 10 to 71 piled into the family car
intending to commit suicide over more...
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. LOS ANGELES TIMES, October 8: People of northwestern Montana have been advised to be on the lookout for drunken bears. Black bears and grizzlies have been congregating along the tracks of the Burlington Northern railroad tracks, where a train carrying hundreds of tons of corn derailed some time ago. The corn has fermented, and the aroma is attracting the bears. "The bears are actually intoxicated up there," said wildlife biologist Loren Hicks. And a grizzly with a hangover can be cross as a bear.
ONE DAY 3 BLONDES TAKE A WALK IN THE FOREST.
WHILE THEY ARE WALKING, THEY COME ALONG SOME TRACKS.
THE FIRST BLONDE SAYS, THESE ARE BEAR TRACKS.
THE SECOND BL0NDE JUMPS IN AND SAYS, NO THOSE ARE DEER TRACKS.
OF COURSE THE THIRD BLONDE HAD TO PUT IN HER PIECE AND SAYS,
ANYONE CAN TELL THOSE ARE FOX TRACKS.
ALL THREE OF THEM WERE STILL ARGUING 10 MINUTES LATER WHEN A TRAIN HIT THEM