Trade Jokes

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed, "Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade in our bodies."
Now God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, pay the bills and balance the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then it was already 1 p.m. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to more...

President Clinton, returning from a campaign stop in Arkansas, is climbing the steps to board Air Force One. Under each arm he is carrying a souvenir of his trip -- a live razorback. At the top of the jetway, he is met by the guard, a Marine sergeant, who issues a crisp salute." I'd salute you back, Sergeant," says the President, "but as you can see, I've got my hands full." "Yes, sir," replies the sergeant. "Very nice pigs, sir. Very nice pigs." "Why, these aren't pigs," the President responds. "These are RAZORBACKS!""Yes, sir -- razorbacks. Sorry, sir." "Yup," Clinton continues. "Got this one for Chelsea, and this one for Hillary." The sergeant replies: "Very good trade, sir -- very good trade."

David Wells was traded Thursday from the Boston Red Sox to the Padres, who believe the free-spirited lefty will provide the lift they need as they contend for a postseason berth.
Minutes after the trade announcement, several Boston area Dunkin Donuts flew their flags at half-staff to mourn the loss of their all time best customer.



Also mourning the Wells trade...
Every biker bar, rib joint, strip club, and asian fetish whorehouse in New England.

Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and
walks down the steps of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms..
At the bottom of the steps, he says to the honor
guardsman, "These are genuine Arkansas Razor-Back Hogs.
I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary."
The guardsman replies, "Nice trade, Sir."

At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American: "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police." Russian: "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."