Trampoline Jokes / Recent Jokes
What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You should take your workboots off before you jump on a trampoline.
I'm not sure I'm using this right, but if I am, here's a whole bunch
of viola jokes.
What's the difference between a viola and a violin?
A violin burns faster.
Why is a violist like a terrorist?
They both ** up bowings.
What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?
Terrorists have sympathizers.
What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?
A dressmaker tucks up frills.
What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and
a smoking crater where his house used to be. The chief of police comes over
to him and tells him, "While you were out, the conductor came to your house,
killed your family, and burned it down." The violist replied, "You're
kidding! The conductor came to my house?"
A violist is sitting in the front row, crying hysterically. The more...
What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50? Your honor.
What do you call a lawyer whose gone bad? Senator.
What is the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? The tick stops draining you and drops off after you're dead.
What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start!
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog.
What is the difference between a dead lawyer and a squished skunk in the road? The vultures will eat the skunk.
A Little Johnny went to sit on Santa's lap, and Santa asked him what he wanted for Christmas.
Little Johnny answered, "A damn swing set in the backyard."
"Excuse me?" said Santa.
"I want a damn swing set in my backyard," repeated Little Johnny.
Santa said, "You'll have to ask nicer if you want Santa to bring you something. Let's try again. What else do you want?"
Little Johnny answered, "A damn sandbox for the side yard."
"You have to ask politely! One more time. What else do you want for Christmas?"
Little Johnny thought for a minute, then said, "I want a damn trampoline in the front yard."
Santa sighed and set Little Johnny off his lap. "I'm sorry son, I can't give anything to someone who talks like you do. I'm not bringing you anything for Christmas."
Santa then called Johnny's parents over and told them what had happened. They apologized profusely, saying more...
A french horn and a lawnmower?
You can tune a lawnmower.
An oboe and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces.
A saxophone and a chainsaw?
The grip.
An accordion and a trampoline?
You are supposed to take off your shoes before jumping on the
trampoline.
A trumpet player and a government bond?
Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a lawyer? You remove your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A boxing referee doesn't get paid extra for a longer fight.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.
What's the difference between a lawyer and an angry rhinoceros?
The lawyer charges more.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
What's the difference between a lawyer and a computer nerd?
Sooner or later everyone needs a lawyer.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a catfish.
What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
What's the difference between a hooker and a lawyer?
A hooker will stop screwing you after you are dead.
What's the difference between a more...