Tramps Jokes

two tramps walking down the road.1st tramp smells shit so asks the second tramp if he has shit himself.
"no i have not"second tramp says so the 1st tramp carries on walking and just ignores it.
A few minutse a faint smell of shit reaches his nostrills.
"listen have you shit yourself"
"no i havnt" the 2nd tramp replies. The 1st tramp rips his mates keks down and finds a log in his crusty boxers
"see you have shit yourself"
"oh sorry"he replies"i didnt no you meant today"

Why are French tramps like Princess Diana?

Because you'll find them smashed against the wall of a Paris underpass on Saturday nights.

Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.

When the age of the Vikings came to a close, they must have sensed it. Probably, the gathered together one evening, slapped each other on the back and said, "Hey, good job."

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind." Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep more...

Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps,
Bug-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants!
I'm about to tell you a story I've never heard before,
So pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
Admission is free, so pay at the door.

One fine day, in the middle of the night,
two, dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back, they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
and saved the lives of the two dead boys.
If you don't believe my lies are true,
ask the blind man, he saw it too!