Transatlantic Jokes

The transatlantic liner was experiencing particularly heavy weather, and Mrs Jones wasn't feeling well. "Would you care for some more supper, ma'am?" asked the steward. "No, thanks," replied the wretched passenger. "Just throw it overboard to save me the trouble."

On a transatlantic trip a freighter comes across three survivors of a shipwreck bobbing about sunburned and thirsty, in a rubber raft. The freighter`s captain, a Britisher, leans over the side and shouts, "I`d like to rescue you fellows, but I`ve got a few questions first." The first man, a Frenchman, he asks, "What`s the worst disaster in naval history?" "That would be the sinking of the Titanic," replies the Frenchman, and the captain throws down a rope and pulls him up. The next question he posed to the Irishman. "Can you tell me how many died?" "I`d say about 1250 people," came the reply, and a rope was dropped over the side to pull him aboard. "You`re from Poland aren`t you?" said the captain to the lone man in the raft. Turning away from the railing, the captain says, "Name `em."

The transatlantic liner was experiencing particularly heavy weather, and Mrs Jones wasnt feeling well. "Would you care for some more supper, maam?" asked the steward. "No, thanks," replied the wretched passenger. "Just throw it overboard to save me the trouble."

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??" For a moment, there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is more...