Transplant Jokes / Recent Jokes
A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family, ''Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.'' ''Well, how much does a brain cost?'' asked the relatives. ''For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000,'' replied the doctor. Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. But the patient's daughter was unsatisfied and asked, ''Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?'' ''Standard pricing practice,'' said the doctor. ''Women's brains have to be marked down because they've actually been used.''
A man needing a heart transplant is told by his doctor that the only heart available is that of a sheep. The man finally agrees and the doctor transplants the sheep heart into the man. A few days after the operation, the man comes in for a checkup. The doctor asks him "How are you feeling?" The man replies "Not BAAAAD!"
You may have heard that a New Zealand man had a hand transplant. Guess what? His penis rejected it!
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,' he said as he surveyed the worried faces.' The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.'The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked,' Well, how much does a brain cost?'The Doctor quickly responded,' $25,000 for a male brain, and $3,000 for a female brain.'The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,' Why is the male brain so much more?'The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and said to the entire group,' It's just standard pricing procedure. more...
If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.
A woman with a brain tumor was surprised when her doctor called her, and told her of a new, experimental brain transplant procedure. When she met with her doctor, he told her that she would require the transplant of one pound of brain. The doctor then asked, "What type of brain do you want?"
"What type?" the woman asked, "That makes a difference?"
"Yes," replied the doctor. "There is a substantial difference in price. For example, one-pound of brain from a surgeon costs $12, 000, while you can get one-pound of brain from a nuclear physicist for $15, 000, and so on. You will gain some of the qualities associated with the profession of the brain donor, so your choice can make a big difference."
"Can you give me one-pound of brain from a lawyer? Ever since I was a little girl I've dreamed of being a trial attorney."
"Sure. Let's see. That's $250, 000," the doctor replied.
"You're kidding more...
A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds.
"Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?"
"No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone."