Treat Jokes

While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and a cow and began a conversation.
Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"
Indian: "Dog no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' alright."
The Indian looked shocked.
Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" pointing at the Indian.
Dog: "Yep"
Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
The Indian looks even more shocked.
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Indian: "Horse no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
The Indian looks extremely shocked.
Cowboy: "Is this your owner? " pointing at Indian
Horse: "Yep"
Cowboy: "How's he treat more...

A ventriloquist walks into a small Australian town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog and figures he'll have a little fun.
Ventriloquist: 'G'day mate. Good looking dog... mind if l speak to him?'
Local: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid man.'
Ventriloquist: 'Hey dog, how's it going old mate?'
Dog: 'Doin' all right.'
Local: (Look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist (pointing at local): 'Is this man your owner?'
Dog: 'Yep.'
Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'
Dog: 'Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and lakes me to the river once a week to play.'
Local: (Look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'
Local: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either... I think.'
Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'
Horse: 'Cool.'
Local: (Absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist (pointing at local): 'Is this your owner?'
Horse: 'Yep.'
Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat more...

How about making the evening a Dutch treat?" cooed the delectable blonde to her handsome escort. "You pay for dinner and drinks-and the rest of the evening will be on me."

The groom, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, "I've found a woman just like mother!" His father replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
The high divorce rates in America indicate that the U.S. is still the Land of the Free, but your marriage demonstrates that we also remain the Home of the Brave!
The man says: With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow. (Book of Common Prayer)
The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.
If you are the best man at a wedding there is always my favorite toast:
The screwing you'll get is going to be worth the screwing you'll get.
I didn't have the guts to use it at the wedding but it got a lot of laughs at the bachelor party.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then marry him.
The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. more...

A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Indian sitting on his porch. He figures he'll have a little fun... Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?" Indian: "Dog no talk." Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?" Dog: "Doin' alright." Indian: shows extreme look of shock Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" pointing at Indian. Dog: "Yep" Cowboy: "How does he treat you?" Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play." Indian: shows look of disbelief Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?" Indian: "Horse no talk." Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?" Horse: "Cool." Indian: extreme look of shock Cowboy: "Is this your owner? "pointing at Indian. Horse: "Yep." Cowboy: "How's he treat you?" Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me more...