Tree Jokes / Recent Jokes
A young wife, her boorish husband and a good-looking sailor were ship-wrecked on an island and had already been there for awhile. One morning the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled - "Stop fucking her down there!""What's the matter with you?" asked the husband after the sailor came back down. "We weren't doing anything." "Sorry," said the sailor. "from up there it looked like you were." Every morning after that, the sailor scaled the small tree and yelled the same thing. Finally, the husband decided to climb the tree and see for himself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top." By golly, he's right," said the husband. "It DOES look like they're fucking down there!"
Lesson One
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow &asked him, "Can I also sit like you &do nothing all day Long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson?..........To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, he was proudly more...
There was a woman, who was a tree hugger and anti-hunter, who purchased several acres of Hill Country land, near Lake Cresant.
There was a huge tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to view the natural splendor of her land, so she climbed the tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl. It attacked her! In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground. During the ensuing fall, she incurred several splinters of wood in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor, 35 minutes away.
She told him she was an environmentalist and anti-hunter and how she came to receive all of the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience. He then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help.
The impatient patient sat, and waited for three hours bef ore the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"
He smiled and said, more...
A little boy was playing by a pond when he saw a Port-A-Potty. Feeling mischievous, he tipped it over into the pond, and ran all the way home. At dinner, his father told the story of how George Washington chopped down the cherry tree. Feeling incredibly guilty, the little boy 'fessed up and told his father about what had happened. Soon, the boy was spanked, and how! "Wait, dad! What's going on? I told you the truth!""Yes, you did. But George Washington's dad wasn't in the tree when he chopped it down!"
One Day Morron Climbed A Tree. He Met A Monkey There. Monkey Asked "What's The Matter, Why Did U Climb The Tree" Morron Replied "To Eat Mango" Monkey Said "Dude This Is Banana Tree" Morron Said "Don't Worry, I've Got The Mango With Me"