Tribe Jokes / Recent Jokes

Tom Cruise, Steven Seagal, and Alec Baldwin were in a jungle filming a movie. Sadly, they were taken prisoner by the local tribe. As they were about to be executed, they begged the queen of the tribe for mercy.
She considered their plea and said, "Get me something good to eat. If I like it, you will be freed." The three stars looked at each other and agreed. They then went into the jungle to look for some food.
Tom Cruise was the first to come back. He came up to the altar and offered grapes. She tasted one and immediately spat it out. She ordered her servants to shove the rest of them up his ass. The servants finished their duty, leaving him screaming.
Seagal was the next to arrive with some yummy apples. The same thing happened to him, but curiously he laughed as the apples were shoved up his ass.
Tom Cruise was shocked. Here he was with grapes up his ass howling in pain, but Seagal had several apples in his ass and he was still laughing. He asked him more...

Three men are traveling in the Amazon: a Canadian, an American, and a Mexican.They get captured by a fierce tribe of Amazons.The tribe leader tells them they will be whipped for entering their territory. The tribe chief says to the Candian, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"The Canadian responds, "I will take oil!"So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him 10 times.When he is finished the Canadian has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.The Amazons haul the Canadian away, and say to the Mexican,"What do you want on your back?""I will take nothing!, I will take my punishment like a real man!" says the Mexican, and he boldly stands there and takes his 10 lashings without a single flinch.Finally, it's the Yank's turn and the tribal chief asks:"What will you take on your back?"And he responds - " I'll take the Mexican! "

One day these 3 friends went hunting in the forest. As they are walking along they are ambushed by a primative tribe. They were all taken back to the camp and one by one tied to three seperate trees.
Then the "big chief" comes out of his toupee and stares each guy in the face, he then turns to the tribe and says " Death or Bongo".
There is a fierce uproar and the tribe begins to chant " Bongo, Bongo, Bongo!"
The chief then turns to the men and asks the first one "Death or bongo?"
The first man replys " I dont like the sound of death so it will have to be bongo"
So 10 men come out of the tribe and begin to bugger him up the arse!!
The chief then turns to the second man and asks the same question.
he replys, slightly hesitant through "bongo"
so 30 men come and bugger him up the arse!!
The third man, who is now quite distressed decided that he would rather die than be subjected to this more...

A challenge for a joke on Pithecanthropus met with a suitably lame response:
Brad the caveman was wandering around the steamy jungle when he was attacked by a sabertooth tiger.
During the tussle they both fell into a hole dug by Brad's tribe, who were the first ever humans to try this method of catching animals for food. The tribe hearing the noise of the fight raced to the hole, which they called a Pit and were joined by another tribe, who were still using the throw-stones at the animal method.
The Headman from this latter tribe couldn't work out what was going on and looking down thought that Brad must be a new type of man. The Headman grunted "nggh mfguk wolhj" (or "What him be?").
At that moment Brad got the upper hand on the largest member of the cat family and lifting the big pussy up flung it out of the pit.
The Headman of Brad's tribe arrived and asked what had happened to which one of his tribe pointed at the hole and said more...

A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets the word that he is to return home. He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest.
He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree." The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree." The missionary is pleased with the response.
They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says, "This is a rock." Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock." The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of heavy sexual activity. The padre is really flustered and quickly says, "Riding a bike."
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them. The padre goes ballistic and more...