Trombone Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?
A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.
Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone?
A: Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste.
Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone?
A: Take your hand out of the bell and miss all of the notes.
Q: What`s the definition of a gentleman?
A: Somone who knows how to play the trombone and doesn`t.
Q: What is the difference between a trombone and a trumpet?
A: A trombone will bend before it breaks.
Q: There is a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west. What can be surmised from this?
A: The frog`s probably on its way to a gig.
Orchestral trombonists count so much rest and play so many repeated figures that the sheep story also works.
Trombone: a slide whistle with delusions of granduer.
A guy starts talking to two women in a bar, they turn out to be Siamese twins, and they wind up back at his apartment. He makes love to one, and then starts to work on the other. He realizes that the first one might get bored watching, so he her asks what she'd like to do. She says, "Is that a trombone in the corner? I'd love to play your trombone." So she plays it while he screws her sister. A few weeks later, the girls are walking past the guy's apartment building. One of the girls says, "Let's stop up and see that guy." The other girl says, "Gee... do you think he'd remember us?"
How can you tell which kid on the playground is the trombone player's kid?
He doesn, t know how to work the slide and he can, t swing!
August, 1998, Montevideo, UruguayPaolo Esperanza, bass-trombonist with the Simphonica Mayor de Uruguay, in a misplaced moment of inspiration decided to make his own contribution to the cannon shots fired as part of the orchestra's performance of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture at an outdoor children's concert. In complete seriousness he placed a large, ignited firecracker, which was equivalent in strength to a quarter stick of dynamite, into his aluminum straight mute and then stuck the mute into the bell of his quite new Yamaha in-line double-valve bass trombone. Later, from his hospital bed he explained to a reporter through bandages on his mouth, "I thought that the bell of my trombone would shield me from the explosion and, instead, would focus the energy of the blast outward and away from me, propelling the mute high above the orchestra, like a rocket." However, Paolo was not up on his propulsion physics nor qualified to use high-powered artillery and in his haste to get more...
How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?
Put your hand in the bell and miss a lot of notes.
What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw? Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still. orIt's easier to improvise on a chainsaw.
Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone?
A: Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste.