Troopers Jokes

The following is another goodie related to me by my mom years ago. It's another one of those that's just a little too good to be true. Though the veracity may be questionable, it's a great story.
Preface: Policemen, firefighters, etc. used to have annual dinner-dance type affairs (they were referred to as "The Policeman's Ball", etc) to raise money for the local constabulatory. The individual officers were responsible for selling tickets to the event to those on their beat.
And now, the story:
A woman was driving down the road one day only to find herself behind a horse trailer being pulled by a pick-up truck. As they were driving along, the back door of the horse trailer came loose and swung open, exposing the rear end of the horse inside.
Eventually, gastric and bowel processes completed, the horse's tail lifted and - voila - the woman's windshield was covered in horse stuff.
Now the woman's first instinct was, of course, to turn on the windshield more...

Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly. The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?" The sarge replied, "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."

The day after losing his wife in a diving accident, a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.
"We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife."
"Tell me! Did you find her?" the man cried.
The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"
Fearing the worse, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."
The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay."
"Oh no!" said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"
The trooper continued. "When we pulled her up she had two five-pound King crabs and a half-dozen good size Dungeness crabs on her."
Stunned, Mr.Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good more...

Top Ten Changes to the new Star Wars update
#10 Tie fighters replaced with black UN helicopters lead by Buotros Buotros Vader.
#9 Sand People replaced by Michigan Militia members (and still walk single file to hide their numbers).
#8 Kahn turns out to be Captain Kirk's father (whoops, that's from the Top Ten new Star Trek movie changes).
#7 Chewbacca now giggles when you tickle his tummy.
#6 If you look closely, storm troopers now have Microsoft employee badges.
#5 Original Jawas: Killed by Storm Troopers for having R2 and C3P0. New Jawas: Killed for pitching yet another lame JAVA product "concept".
#4 Obi Wan's name changed to OS/2 Kenobi. Uncle Owen now constantly says "I think he died X years ago" where X changes between 10 years before to 10 years in the future. Storm troopers now don't kill Uncle Owen but instead appoint him head of the Imperial press.
#3 Amiga users upset because the new computers in the Death Star are PC's more...

Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly. The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?"The sarge replied, "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."