Trouble Jokes / Recent Jokes

An airliner was having engine trouble and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to
have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.“All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except for one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards.”

Following is the dialog of what was 'apparently' an actual phone conversation between a WordPerfect user and a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:
"Hello. May I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"Yes. They disappeared."
"Hmmmm. What does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How can I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a C-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your more...

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Alex, the computer guy, to come over. Alex clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called after him, ''So, what was wrong?''
He replied, ''It was an ID ten T error.''
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired: ''An ID ten T error? What's that... in case I need to fix it again?''
Alex grinned... ''Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?''
''No,'' I replied.
''Write it down,'' he said, ''and I think you'll figure it out.''
So I wrote out... I D 1 0 T

An American tourist was driving in County Kerry, when his motor stopped. He got out to see if he could locate the trouble. A voice behind him said, "The trouble is the carburetor." He turned around and only saw an old horse. The horse said again, "It's the carburetor that's not working." The American nearly died with fright, and dashed into the nearest pub, had a large whiskey, and told Murphy the bartender what the horse had said to him. Murphy said, "Well, don't pay any attention to him, he knows nothing about cars anyway."

Judy, the editor of a trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer. So she called Dave, the computer guy, over to her desk. Dave clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, Judy called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

And he replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

A puzzled expression ran over Judy's face. "An ID ten T error? What's that.. in case I need to fix it again??"

He gave her a grin, "Haven't you heard of an ID ten T error before."

"No," replied Judy.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

She wrote: ID10T

My most memorable one was, after being lightly smacked on the butt and asking, "What was that for?" "Nothing. DO something and see what you get." I once got smacked and when I asked, "What was that for?" my mom replied, That's for all the things I never found out about." If you fall out of that tree and break your leg, don't come running to me! Variation: Cut your legs off in that lawnmower, don't you come running to me! If you poke your eye out with that thing, don't come looking for me! You always find things in the last place you look. Keep doing that with your face and it'll stay that way. This hurts me more than it hurts you. Variation: (speaking in time with the spanking) This(spank) hurts(spank) me(spank) more(spank)..... I want you to go find something for me to spank you with. Mother to my Father: "He's got my looks and your brains!" "He's your son!"I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate. What were you thinking more...

The main trouble with mental notes is, the ink fades so fast