Trouble Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man was new in town and caught the flu, so he went to see a doctor. The doctor gave him three prescriptions. Before the man left the doctor's office, he asked for directions to the nearest pharmacy. The doctor said, "Go six blocks down and you will see a pharmacy on the left hand side."
The man followed the doctor's directions and had no trouble finding the pharmacy. As he got out of his car, he noticed a gigantic sign which read: "The Giant Pharmacy where you get more for your money."
He walked in and gave the pharmacist the three prescriptions. When his name was called, he noticed that the clerk placed a gigantic container of antibiotics on the counter, then had trouble picking up a huge bottle of cough syrup.
The man became alarmed, and before the clerk walked away to bring the third prescription, he yelled "Excuse me sir... the suppositories... I don't want them!!"
The trouble with trouble is that it starts out as fun.
Top Ten Signs Your Amish Teenager Is In Trouble
10. Sometimes stays in bed until after 5 a. m.
9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.
8. Shows up at barn raisings in full "KISS" makeup.
7. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh."
6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."
5. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap."
4. You come upon his secret stash of colored socks.
3. Uses slang expression, "Talk to the hand,' cause the beard ain't listening."
2. Was recently pulled over for driving under the influence of cottage cheese.
1. He's wearing his big black hat backwards.
Axiom (n)
A self-evident or universally recognized truth; a maxim
The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
Nothing improves with age.
No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
Sex has no calories.
Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
No sex with anyone in the same office.
Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Virginity can be cured.
When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
The qualities more...
A couple had two boys who were 8 and 10 years old and very mischievous. If there was ever any trouble in town, the couple knew the boys were involved. The mother was told about a local clergyman who was great at disciplining children, so she contacted him and asked if he would speak to her boys. He agreed to meet with them individually and she sent the younger boy to his office.
The clergyman was a huge man with a booming voice. He sat the young boy down and asked, "Where is God?" The boy's eyes grew wide and his mouth dropped open, but he didn't utter a sound. With much more strictness, the clergyman repeated the question, "Where is God?" Again, the boy didn't utter a sound, he just sat rigid in his seat.
Furious, the clergyman shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD?" The boy let out a scream, ducked out of the room, ran all the way home and hid under his bed.
When his older brother entered the bedroom and found him more...
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually.
So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed.
So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer.
So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's more...