Trouble Jokes / Recent Jokes

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually.
So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"
They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed.
So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer.
So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's more...

Three men were discussing aging on the steps of the nursing home.
"Sixty is the worst age to be," announced the 60 year old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"
"Ah, that's nothing," said the 60 year old. "When you're 70, you can't take a crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran - you sit on the toilet all day and nothing comes out !"
"Actually," said the eighty year old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing too?", asked the sixty year old.
"No... not really. I pee every morning at 6AM. I pee like a race horse - no problem at all."
"Do you have trouble taking a crap?", asked the 70 year old.
"No, not really. I have a great bowel movement every morning at 6:30."
With great exasperation, the 60 year old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every more...

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually.So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed.So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer.So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE more...

Three men were discussing aging on the steps of the nursing home."Sixty is the worst age to be," announced the 60 year old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!" "Ah, that's nothing," said the 60 year old. "When you're 70, you can't take a crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran - you sit on the toilet all day and nothing comes out !""Actually," said the eighty year old, "Eighty is the worst age of all.""Do you have trouble peeing too?", asked the sixty year old."No... not really. I pee every morning at 6AM. I pee like a race horse - no problem at all.""Do you have trouble taking a crap?", asked the 70 year old."No, not really. I have a great bowel movement every morning at 6:30."With great exasperation, the 60 year old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at six o'clock and take a crap more...

A woman was sitting at the breakfast table reading a letter, when she suddenly looked up suspiciously at her husband.
"My mother says that she won't be coming to visit us this year," she said. "She says that she doesn't feel we really want her to come. What do you suppose she means by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn't you?"
"Ummm, yes, I did," replied the husband. "But, er, I was having trouble spelling 'convenience', so I made it 'risk'."

You Know You're In Trouble When...
1. Your accountants letter of resignation is postmarked Zurich.
2. Your suggestion box starts ticking.
3. Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DA is on line 2, and CBS is on line 3.
4. You make more than you ever made, owe more than you ever owed, and have less than you've ever had.
5. The simple instructions enclosed aren't.
6. People send your wife sympathy cards on your anniversary.
7. You see your wife and your girlfriend having lunch together.
8. The plumber floats by on your kitchen table.

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous.
The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be confident that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved in some capacity. The parents were at their wit's end as to what to do about their sons' behavior.
The parents had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so they contacted him, and he agreed to give it his best shot. He asked to see the boys individually, so the eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"
The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?"
Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?"
At that, the boy bolted from more...