Troublesome Jokes

BEING CREATIVE WITH TROUBLESOME KIN You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of example, let's say that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. A cousin has supplied you with the only known photograph of Remus, showing him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture are the words: "Remus Starr: Horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison, 1885. Escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged, 1889." Pretty grim situation, right? But let's revise things a bit. We simply crop the picture, scan in an enlarged image and edit it with image processing software so that all that is seen is a head shot. Next, we rewrite the text: "Remus Starr was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana more...

The lovers were lying on her bed in a passionate embrace when the woman suddenly cocked her ear. "Quick," she cried, "my husband is coming through the front door. Hide in the bathroom."
The lover ran into the bathroom as she quickly hid his clothes under the bed. Just as she turned back, her husband entered the bedroom. "What are you doing lying naked on the bed?" he asked.
"Darling, I heard you pull in the driveway and I wanted to be ready to receive you," she explained with a seductive wink and smile.
"Great!" he said. "I just have to run to the bathroom and I'll be right with you."
She began to panic, but before she could stop him, he was in the bathroom. There, he found a man clapping his hands together in mid air. Dumbfounded, he asked, "Who the hell are you?"
"I'm from the exterminator company. Your wife called me in to get rid of these troublesome moths," replied the more...