Truck Jokes / Recent Jokes

Some men in a pickup truck drove to a lumber yard. One of the men walked into the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos." The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned shortly and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-four." "All right. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a moment and said, "I'd better go check." After a while, he returned to the office and said, -"A long time. We're gonna build a house..."

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man's milk and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?"

The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."

A truck driver was driving down a road when he saw a sign that read low bridge. Next thing the driver knows is that he was stuck under the bridge. Traffic was backed up for miles.
A police officer finally makes his way to the truck and says with his hands on his hips, "Got stuck, huh?"
The driver replied, "No, I was delivering the bridge and ran out of gas."

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran
into a truck.
The truck`s driver made her pull over into a parking lot
and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the
pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not
leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck
driver asks her what`s so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies,
"When you weren`t looking,
I stepped out of the circle three times!"

A Truck Driver was driving down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the Road. He stopped to pick up the priest and give him a ride. A ways down the road the Truck Driver saw a lawyer on the side of the road. He turned the truck on a direct course with the lawyer.
Then he thought "Oh no, I have a priest in the truck I can't run down this lawyer" and at the last second the Truck Driver swerved to miss the lawyer. But, the Truck Driver heard a thump outside of the truck, he looked in his rear-view mirror but didn't see anything.
He turned to the priest and said "Sorry Father, I just missed that Lawyer at the side of the road" And the priest said "Don't worry son, I got him with my door"

'Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurting - even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead,
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.
Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor,
While upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
Went into the kitchen and started to clean.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand,
The patch on his jacket said, "U.S. POSTMAN."
With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox,
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came,
Whistling and more...

A truck driver was driving down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the road. He stopped to pick up the priest and give him a ride. A ways down the road the truck driver saw a lawyer on the side of the road. He turned the truck on a direct course with the lawyer. Then he thought 'Oh no, I have a priest in the truck. I can't run down this lawyer!' and at the last second the truck driver swerved to miss the lawyer. But, the truck driver heard a thump outside of the truck. He looked in his rear-view mirror but didn't see anything.
He turned to the priest and said 'Sorry Father, I just missed that lawyer at the side of the road.' The priest said 'Don't worry son, I got him with my door'