Truck Jokes / Recent Jokes
A guy comes home from work and sees a gorilla on his roof. so he calls up animal control and says look im not crazy but i came home and theres a gorilla on my roof. the lady says ok thats the gorilla that escaped from the zoo this morning we will have a guy there in 5 minutes so 5 minutes later a guy pulls up in a huge flatbed truck with a cage a dog and a shotgun so the guy says i know its none of my buisness but how do you plan on getting that gorilla off my roof? and the animal control guy says i plan to climb up there and throw the gorilla off the roof and when i do this dog is trained to grab the object by the testicals to sudate him then i will stick him in the truck and go. the home owner says wow thats really smart but... whats the shotgun for? and he says now if by chance i go up there and the gorilla throws me off i want u to shoot the dog.
A truck driver was going south on I-75, when he came upon a weight station.
When he pulled in and got on the scales to be weighed, the scale master told the driver that he was 900lbs. over weight. The truck driver replied, "I can take care or that." The scale master asked he how could he fix the problem? The driver said, "Let me go around back, and I'll fix the overweight problem."
The scale master agreed to let him fix his problem. About half an hour later the truck driver got back on the scales, and the scale master said, "Driver, you are still 900lbs. over weight." The truck driver said, "I don't understand what went wrong. I let 50lbs. out of each tire on the rig." After thinking the problem over the scale master said, "Well, 18 tires times 50lbs. would equal 900lbs. I guess my scales must be wrong. I'm sorry driver, you may continue on down the road, and have a nice day."
A truck driver was driving along and passed a sign that said "low bridge ahead." Before he knew it, the bridge was right ahead of him and he got stuck under it. Cars were backed up for miles. Finally, a police car pulled up. The cop got out of his car. He walked around to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver said, "No officer. I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas!"
Police in George, WA issued a report on the events leading up to the deaths of Robert Uhlenake (24) and his friend, Ormond D. Young (27) at the Metallica concert last Friday.
Uhlenake and Young were found dead at the Gorge Amphitheater after the show. Uhlenake was in pickup that was on top of Young at the bottom of a 20 ft drop. Young was found with severe lacerations, numerous fractures, contusions, and a branch in his anal cavity. He also had been stabbed and his pants were in a tree above him, some 15 ft off the ground; adding to the mystery of the heretofore unexplained scene.
According to Commissioner-In-Charge Inoye Appleton, Uhlenake and Young had tried to get tickets for the sold-out concert. When they were unable to get any tickets, the two decided to stay in the lot and drink. Once the show began, and after the two had consumed 18 beers between the two of them, they hit upon the idea of scaling the 7 foot wooden security fence around the perimeter of the site and more...
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children fell to discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
Two gas men were out checking meters in a residential neighborhood one day. They parked the truck at the end of the street and worked their way up the street. At the last house, a woman watched from her kitchen window as they checked her meter.Finally finishing their work, the older man, a supervisor, challenged the younger man, his trainee, to a race back to their truck, wanting to prove that an older man could still beat a younger man.They raced back to the truck, with the supervisor holding a lead, when they noticed that the woman from the last house was racing up behind them. They stopped until she caught up and asked what was wrong.As she gasped for breath, she said, "When I saw you two gas men running as hard as you could, I figured I'd better run too!"