True Story Jokes / Recent Jokes
My classmate, Susan, and I are in the middle of our thesis rewrites for
Johns Hopkins University. We only have two weeks left and we are both
quite razzled at the prospect of doing more research in the remaining
time.
Today Susan called me to say that she desperately needed more history
about a small tribe of Native Americans that lives in the Grand Canyon
but there's only one telephone on the reservation and no one ever answers
it.
As a matter of fact, the three times she visited the tribe's Visitor
Center while she was on vacation, she said no one ever opened up the
building.
Being a computer geek, I said, "Have you checked the Internet?"
She said, "No, what a great idea! Thanks."
I did a quick check using Excite while she used Yahoo and she was
astounded at the information available about this little-known tribe.
She thanked me profusely for the tip and hung up.
Two hours later, she called me back more...
In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two
feet of water after squeezing headfirst through an 18-inch-wide sewer
grate to retrieve his car keys.
In September, a 7-year- old boy fell off a 100-foot-high bluff near Ozark,
Ark., after he lost his grip swinging on a cross that marked the spot
where another person had fallen to his death in 1990.
Frequently, I get a strip of coupons or other
promotional items from a little printer at the
checkout of my local grocery.
Coupons emerge as a thank-you for purchasing a
product, or based on some other derived data.
Yesterday, after buying a couple pints of Ben &
Jerry's Ice Cream (my favorite bad-for-me snack
food), I got the following checkout coupons in
sequence:
Save 55c on Two(2) Pints Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream
Free High Cholesterol Survival Guide
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three-year-old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, “Mommy, you are getting fat! ”
I replied, “Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy. ”
“I know, ” she replied, “but what’s growing in your butt? ”
Mary Poppins has retired from her days as a nanny and currently resides in Venice Beach, CA, where she predicts cases of bad breath for her clients. Her sign outside her office reads: “Super California Mystic, Expert: Halitotsis”
Annals of Television: Two men whose fishing boat sank near Hawaii on Dec.
9 were rescued from a raft this week. "However," Premiere Morning Sickness
reports, "after hearing that Tom Arnold would be starring in another
sitcom, Richard Enslow and David Summers quickly paddled back out to sea."