True Story Jokes / Recent Jokes

Some Boeing employees recently “liberated” a life raft from one of the 747s on the company’s production line. Later, they took it for a float on the Stilliguamish river.

Imagine their surprise when a Coast Guard helicopter “rescued” them after homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. Not surprisingly, they no longer work at Boeing.

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher.

The judge rose from the bench. “Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court, ” he smiled with delight. “Now sit down at that table and write ‘I will not pass through a red light’ five hundred times. ”

In the 80's, a [local] radio station had a couple of DJs who claimed
the stealth fighter had landed at the Mt. Joy airport in Mt. Joy,
Iowa. This is used mainly by the weekend warriors, and once a year
it's used for an air show. The authorities were notified after an
estimated 10,000 people came to the airport. They asked the
people why they were out there, and they were given the story about
the stealth fighter.
The authorities then called the FBI, who talked to the FAA, who
called the FBI back. The two DJs got yanked off the air and
suspended for two weeks - but not before some people at the
airport, armed with cell phones, called into the station, got put on
the air, and said that they couldn't see the thing. The DJs replied
that it was proof the technology worked.
To top it all off: the DJs said the only way that you could see
the plane was to move your head back and fourth - like a chicken
when it walks - and try to more...

Then there was the psychology professor, a Yankee's Yankee and a
feminist's feminist, who tells the following story about herself to illustrate
that doctorates don't necessarily make you smart.
She was driving to a workshop in Atlanta from her home in Ohio.
It was about 10 am, and she'd been driving the entire preceding day and night
herself, and she was consequently not in the best of tempers as she searched
for a motel in which to crash.
A Georgia state policeman pulled her over, got out of his cruiser,
swaggered up to her driver's window, bent down, and drawled, "Lookie here,
darlin',"-uh oh, everybody duck-"Lookie here, darlin', nobody blows
through Georgia that fast."
Said the feminist Yankee overtired psychology professor: "Sherman did."
She says he was not satisfied merely to give her a speeding ticket;
he made her follow him fifty miles out of her way to Nowheresburg, GA, and
wait at the more...

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery were disconsolate at the loss.
Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th, and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo....

Microsoft Corp today announced that they would purchase the source the
PenPoint operating system for the value of one of Bill Gates eye-lashes
(est. value $1.3 million). Gates was quoted as saying "we are only doing
what the consumer has asked us to do: ship huge, bloated, bug-ridden
programs while using every trick in the book to kill our competitors. As an
example of our progress, consider Windows CE which paints the screen slower
on a 75 MHz MIPS RISC processor than the 16 MHz 68000 in the Palm Pilot,
while sucking the batteries dry in a tenth of the time."

Microsoft Corp. dismissed an anti-virus company's claim that versions
of Internet Explorer 3.0 and above possess another hole in security by
calling the feature in question a "design thing, not a bug."