Tuesday Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three old men are at the doctor for a memory test.
The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three?"
"274" was his reply.
The doctor worriedly says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"
"Tuesday" replies the second man.
The doctor sadly says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three"?
"Nine" says the third man.
"That's great!" exclaims the doctor. "How did you get that"?
"Jeez, Doc, it's pretty simple," says the third man. "I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

A man was pulled from rubble in Haiti's capital on Tuesday, two weeksafter a 7.0-magnitude earthquake leveled much of the city, officialssaid.....
......Wow! How does David Blaine do it?

Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins. Don't let worry kill you - let the church help. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early. Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor. Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study. more...

Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. Thedoctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?" "274," was his reply. The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What isthree times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What'sthree times three?" "Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How didyou get that?" "Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

There was a man who rode to the village on Tuesday, stayed there for 3 days, and returned home on Tuesday. How is this possible?

Answer: The horse's name was Tuesday.

the man went on vaxation on tuesday and left on tuesday and was only gone for 2 days how is that possible?
his horse is named tuesday so he left on his horse named tuesday and left on his horse named tuesday.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHA

15 actual announcements taken from church bulletins:1. Don't let worry kill you- let the church help.2. Thursday night- potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. 3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery upstairs.5. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.7. Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.8. Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.9. Thursday at 5:00 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.10. This being Easter Sunday, more...