Turn Jokes / Recent Jokes
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs are roaming in the forest when they come across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decides to take a bath. So she tells the Dwarfs to turn around while she is taking a bath in the lake.The Dwarfs protest vehemently because they want to take a bath too.Snow White relents and says "When I get into the water and you hear the splash, you can turn around."Snow White undresses and as she is about to jump into water, at that very moment, she is startled by a frog who jumps into water before she can.The moment the Dwarfs hear the SPLASH, they turn around and see Snow White standing NAKED.Now, given that this incident is an idea for a TV ad, what product is being advertised? Scroll down for the answer.??? Come on now, this should be easy for a person of your mental powers!??? The product being advertised is...??? SEVEN UP!
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs were roaming in the forest when they came across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decided to take a bath.
So she told the Dwarfs to turn around while she was preparing to take the bath.
The dwarfs protested vehemently. So she relented and said that when she got into the water and they heard the splash, they could turn around.
Snow White undressed and as she was about to jump into water, she was startled by a frog who jumped into water before she could.
The moment the Dwarfs heard the SPLASH, the Dwarfs turned around and saw Snow White standing STARK NAKED.
Now if this incident is a preview to an ad, what product is being advertised?
Page down for answer NOW.
One more guess??? What is it???
SEVEN UP!
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess. ” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week. ” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want. ” Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful more...
The String And Octopus Guide To Parenthood by Colin BowlesPreparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading books and decorating the nursery. Here are 12 simple tests for expectant parents to take to prepare themselves for the real-life experience of being a mother or father. 1. Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, take out 10% of the beans. Men: to prepare for paternity, go to the local pharmacy, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the paper. Read it for the last time. 2. Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their children to run riot. Suggest more...
If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it more...
My 75 year old Dad was taking his daily walk through the park when he heard a tiny voice calling to him. "Hey, mister! Pssst, mister!" Dad looked all around, and spotted a little frog sitting in the grass looking up at him.
"Hey mister," said the frog. "A wicked witch cast a spell on me, and turned me into an ugly frog. If you'll just kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."
Dad reached down, picked up the frog, put it in his pocket, and proceeded to walk on. The frog called out to him again, "Hey! Didn't you hear me? I said if you'll kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."
Dad replied, "I heard you, but at my age, I'd rather just have a talking frog!"
Vow of Silence
At a remote monastery deep in the woods, the monks followed a rigid vow of
silence. This vow could only be broken once a year on Christmas, by one
monk, and the monk could speak only one sentence. One Christmas, Brother
Thomas had his turn to speak and said, "
I love the delightful mashed
potatoes we have every year with the Christmas roast!"
Then he sat down.
Silence ensued for 365 days. The next Christmas, Brother Michael got his
turn, and said, "
I think the mashed potatoes are lumpy and I truly despise
them!"
Once again, silence ensued for 365 days. The following Christmas,
Brother Paul rose and said, "
I am fed up with this constant bickering!"