Twins Jokes / Recent Jokes

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor.

The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, "Congratulations sir, you're the father of twins."

"What a coincidence!" the man said with some obvious pride. "I work for the Minnesota Twins
baseball team."

The nurse returned in a little while and turned to the second man, "You, sir, are the father of triplets."

"Wow, that's really an incredible coincidence" he answered. "I work for the 3M Corporation. My buddies at work will never let me live this one down."

An hour later, while the other two men were passing cigars around, the nurse came back. This time, she turned to the third man, who had been quiet in the corner. She announced that his wife had just given birth to quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply.

"Don't tell me another more...

There were these two twins JIM Ryall and BILL Ryall. JIM was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It just so happened BILL's wife died the same day JIM's boat sank.
A few days later a kindly old woman saw JIM and mistaking JIM for BILL stated, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must feel terrible."
JIM, thinking she was talking about the boat said, "Hell no, fact is, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her, she was a rotten ole thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like an old dead fish, she was always losing her water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The damn fools all tried to get in her at once and she split right up the middle."
The more...

Researchers discovered twins who are identical on their mom's side, but share only half their genes from dad.

Minnesota Twins pitcher, Johan Santana, struck out 17 batters in one game yesterday.

17 strikeouts in about 3 hours. That’s like me at a singles bar.

A woman gives birth to twins, a girl and a boy. Her husband isn't there, and she doesn't wantto name them without him seeing them first. Butthe hospital insists that the babies must benamed by the end of the day. Crazy Uncle Louieoverhears this and he names them (unbeknowst tothe couple). Later the husband arrives, and thehappy couple are set to name the babies when anurse informs them that Uncle Louie already tookcare of that. "Oh no!" they cry. "He's crazy anddoesn't know what he's doing. What names did hepick?" The nurse says, "Well, he named the girlDeniece." "Whew, not bad. In fact, that's nice. And how about the boy?" "Denephew."

Two twins returned home each with a letter from there teachers explaining they had been using extremely bad language and not to come to school. The next day when the twins each gave there dad the letter he gave them a hiding and sent them to bed. the next morning the twins got up "what do you want for breakfast" asked there dad to which one of the twins replied "i'll have some of those fucken thanks" his dad immediately gave the twin a hiding and sent him to bed. "Now what do you want for breakfast" the dad asked to the other twin. Well i won't have any of those fucken thats for sure" the twin replied.

Two twins tlking in their mothers womb
Twin 1: Oh look here comes daddy but hes early
Twin 2:That isnt daddy, daddy dousnt wear a raincoat.